Beginning of the End | Laven

Recovery

Allen didn't know how long he kept smiling at nothing but his phone pulled him out of his daydream.

Four new messages from: Hope

Tumblr: 13 new messages from Alex

Shit.

Allen opened up tumblr seeing as the most recent message was 6 minutes ago.

'Oh my god you fucking nerd did you really buy that fucking camera'
'How did you afford it'
'Allen are you a prostitute'
'that would explain alot'
'*mic drop*'
'Anyways how's ur little crush going ;-)'
'Does he know you post his pictures on tumblr?'
'Don't try to deny it'
'There's only one tall red head artist you know'
'On a side note was he drawing you in that picture? Bc it looks like you'
'WHY WONT YOU ANSWER YOU NERD'
'you've been offline so much recently I miss talking a lot.'
'Rip Allen'

Allen snorted as he answered.

'srry ive been kinda busy, anyways I have really good news.'
''Good news for me'

'Hmu'

'So I may not be single anymore.'

She didn't answer right away so Allen went to Hope's messages.

'Allen we need to talk'
'I want to know what's going on with you'
'And Lavi. You guys are hiding something, and I'm getting worried. You think I don't see the bruises or bandages? Allen please. Answer. I need to know.'
'Okay then'

Allen wouldn't be able to put into words all the feelings he felt reading that last message. Guilty. Cold. Sorry. He felt that overwhelming fear once again. I can't lose anyone else. I have to fix this.

He called Hope... No answer. He tried three more times. No answer. He texted her.

I'm sorry. Hope I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't want to keep anything from you but it's so hard to explain. I can't do it on the phone. Or through text. Please. Please at least let me explain.

Allen put his phone on his lap and laid back on his bed. He shakily sighed and covered his face with his left arm. He vaguely remembered Hope telling him about a breathing exorcise.

How does it go?
Breathe in...
2
3
4
5
6
7
Hold
2
3
4
Exhale.
2
3
4
----

Allen lashed out as he felt his bed dip, only to be met by a confused blonde.

"Allen! Buddy, it's me. Clint. Not gonna hurt you." Allen relaxed sitting back in his bed.

"I forgot you said you'd turn up." Allen mumbled while rubbing his eyes. Clint dramatically grabbed his chest.

"Oh Allen, you wound me!" Resisting rolling his eyes, the teen shoved the blonde. Cue the awkward silence; just as Allen was going to open his mouth, his phone notified him of 1, no, 4 messages.

Lavi:
so does this mean I can call you babe?
I'm calling you babe you can't stop me.
I know it's cheesy as fuck but I'm ridiculously happy.

Hope:
I'm coming over at 7.

"Why can Lavi call you babe?" Allen screeched and fell out of his bed. Clint grabbed the phone out of the teens hands and read through the messages. Allen didn't bother in trying to grab it because last time this has happened Clint threw his phone off of the Avengers tower.

"Fuck." The teen was surprised. Clint didn't usually curse around him. Mostly.

"What?"

"I owe Natasha 40 bucks. Anyways, you feeling better kiddo?" His voice seemed to spread comfort. He's such a dad.

"Yeah. I'm okay now, just kinda worried about how the others are gonna see me after it." Clint frowned and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"What are you talking about buddy?"

"Clint, don't act like it doesn't matter. I had a panic attack. This compromises me for a lot of missions. You can't tell me that they're not going to see me as a-"

"Allen Walker if the next word that comes out of your mouth is liability I will make sure you have training every single day for the next four months." Oh god, anything but that.
Oh please, you could use it.

Allen flinched at the voice returning. Shit, I thought it was gone.
Oh I'm not leaving. Not until I take back my throne.
Throne?

"Allen! Dude, snap out of it. Ramirez mentioned that you get spacey after a panic attack but that was weird." Allen flushed in embarrassment.

"Sorry. I-well. I've been tired recently." Clint wrapped an arm around his shoulder and shook him slightly.

"That is what happens when you patrol 4 days of the week all night long and then go to school. Not only that but you go to training everyday. Saturday you're out all day patrolling-shit, kid. How are you even alive?"

"Between Spike and Lavi, I eat, sleep, and maintain a healthy-ish lifestyle. Not even counting everything you guys do for me." Clint bit his lip.

"Kid, all we do is pressure you and stress you out. We shoul-"

"Shut up." The aura around Allen seemed to shift completely.

"You may have introduced me to this life, but there is no way in hell I'd ever give it up. This is something that grounds me. It's as much of a release as my photography is. Or Lavi's Art. Or Spike's interviews. If I had to be locked away with my powers in check-I don't know what I would do. I'd go insane. Clint this is therapeutic for me. Yeah, shit goes down. Yeah, I haven't been able to help everyone. Have I felt guilty about that? Of course I am. I have a fucking guilt complex and I can't fucking help it. If you even think about pulling me out when I'm already this far deep. If you take away my- my only sense of purpose. I've pushed away some of the closest people in my life because of this. Because I'm The Phantom. You will not take this away. You can't! Please! I-" Allen's throat closed up. He couldn't breathe again. Clint grabbed him by the forearms a bit too firmly.

"Listen to me. No one, I repeat, no one is going to ever take this away from you. We know how important this is to you Allen. Calm down please. I hate seeing you like this, kiddo." Allen struggled for a minutes, trying to get his breathing under control, before finally nodding.

"Sorry, I guess I've been repressing shit." Clint removed his hands from Allen's forearms and rested one on his shoulder.

"This has happened before?"

"When my-"

New message: Hope

I'm outside let me in.

"Guess that's my cue to leave." Clint stood and went towards the open window. Wait. What the fuck.

"Bye Allen."

"...did that really just happen?"

-------------/-/-

Alright fam. There's the new chapter. Gonna start working on the new one but there might be internet issues.

Guess what's gonna happen next!!!