Every once in a while I write in my journal that my dad gave me before he died. It is light pink with neon pink feathers surrounding the border and right smack in the middle it says "Princess" with a crown in the back round. I open up my journal and slowly flip through the pages looking for a clean sheet so I can update the latest events from the past few days.
Him❤️
When you get to know someone, all their physical traits start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not their shell. That's why you can't fall in love with beauty or looks. You can lust after it, be in factored by it or want to own it. You can love with you're eyes or your body, but not with you're heart. That's why when you physically connect with someone, any physical imperfections disappear and become irrelevant. Sometimes someone comes Into your life that changes everything. They raise the standards, makes you laugh, and makes you feel like you. There's something about him that I can't put into words. And even though I may not be with him, I still don't want to let him go. It's amazing, because every time I come remotely close to Timothy, all the tension build up from being nervous, vanishes. The thing is, I can't stop thinking about him, and when you can't get someone out of you're head, it generally means they're supposed to be there. I promised I wouldn't forget the first time we kissed or the first time we had the liberty to call each other mine. The skies may fall and the stars may too, but in the end I will always love him. I love him more than he will ever realize. He is my everything, and he is worth the fights, he is worth a million tears, and he is maybe even worth the little break ups. I guess this is a cheesy way of saying, I love him. If I end up loosing him, that means that I lost my other half. And if were still "just friends" I will stay up till 11:11 until he's mine again. It's insane how someone can suddenly come into you're life and you expect nothing out of it, but it's all right in front of you, everything you ever wanted. If we have fights, so what, Suck it up. If something bad happens we have three choices. We can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you. I know I can't always get what I want, but if I try really hard I might be able to get what I need. And that necessary individual I NEED in my life, is Timothy. Just thinking about him, it makes me miss him. Not some clingy lets hold hands and be together forever bullshit. I miss him. Plain and simple.
