Playgirl, Playboy (Unedited)

Seventh Chapter

It's been a while. Halos 4 months na kaming naglalandian ni Wesley. And maybe if I am one of those girls who are easy to get, I might have fallen hard for him.

It's still the same except for the fact that he already confessed his feelings towards me a month ago.

No big deal.

Okay, that's a lie.

IT'S A FVCKIN BIG DEAL!

He likes me! Wesley Concepcion likes me! Like wtf right?

I'm not against of what he felt or anything. It's just that, he is my friend. I can't afford to lose him just because he has a thing for me.

Okay, I like him too. Pero hindi katulad ng nararamdaman nya para sa akin. What I feel for him is a friendly concern and affection.

*message alert tone*

From: Pards
Good morning bby. Nasa school na ako. Hahaha. Ingat ka on your way. Smile!

Dali dali naman akong nagtype ng reply.

To: Pards
Good morning din. Thanks. I'm on my way. See ya.

Okay, don't get me wrong, hindi ko sya pinapaasa or what. Actually maayos naman namin napag usapan ang mga bagay bagay.

Alam nya kung ano ang totoong nararamdaman ko. Hindi ko pa kasi talaga feel na mag open up at mag entertain sa kung ano anong feelings na yan. I don't know. Maybe it's not yet the right time.

Hindi ako nagpapabebe o kung ano man. It's just that, kapag feelings na ang usapan, hindi ko pa talaga kayang iinvolve ang sarili ko. Siguro ay sadyang hindi ako pinanganak na risk-taker. It is still early though.

"Ali."

Napukaw ang atensyon ko nang marinig ko ang pagtawag sa akin ni Wesley. Sya lang naman ang tumatawag sa akin ng ganoon. He said that he wants to have his own nickname for me so that whenever he will call, I'll immeadiately know that it was him.

Nasa green house kami ngayon. Ito na ang nagsilbing rendesvouz naming dalawa.

"Bakit? Ang seryoso naman ng aura mo pards."

I countered. I don't know why but I felt uneasy. Parang kakaiba. He looks... defferent?

"Pards. Ayaw mo ng paligoy ligoy diba?"

Kumunot ang noo ko.

"Oo naman. Bakit? May problema ba Wesley?"

"Ali, hindi ko alam kung kelan to nagsimula, all I know is that I am sure of what I truly felt for you."

Napalunok ako. Sabi ko na nga ba. Iba talaga. Sh.t. I don't know if I'm ready for this.

Hindi ako manhid. Alam kong may nagbago sa kanya for the past few weeks. Mas naging caring sya, thoughtful at concerned sa akin. Lagi rin syang gumagawa ng paraan para magkausap kami.

"I'm falling for you. Scratch that, I have already fallen. For you."

Eventhough I have already anticipated what he's going to say, it still gave me shivers when it came directly from his mouth.

"Listen, Wes. Alam mo naman na--"

"I know. I know that you're not into commitments and especially not into feelings. I'm not asking anything in return. I just want you to know how I feel. Ayokong may pagsisihan."

"I understand. Now that you mentioned it, anong balak mo?"

"Well. Napag isipan ko na ito. Handa akong maghintay. Hihintayin kita."

"Wala akong maibibigay na assurance sayo. Hindi ako sigurado. Oo, gusto kita, pero ibang pagkakagusto ang nararamdaman ko. And I don't want to lose our friendship."

"It's okay. Still, I'll be waiting for you. Just please, wag mo akong iiwasan."

"I won't."  Pangako ko sa kanya.

We smiled at each other then we fell silent.

"Okay lang kung gusto mong kalimutan muna ang sinabi ko, kung gusto mo bumalik muna ulit tayo sa kung ano tayo noon."

Napatingin ako sa kanya because of what he said. He knows it. Alam nyang hindi pa ako open sa mga ganitong usapin kaya hinahayaan nya akong magdecide.

"I'm sorry kung ganito ako. Hindi ko lang kasi talaga--"

"You don't need to explain anything Ali. Ganun pa rin tayo. The only difference is that I have feelings for you now."

Napangiti ako dahil doon.

Ilang oras pa kaming nagkulitan bago kami nagdesisyon na umalis na sa greenhouse. As usual ay inihatid nya ulit ako sa bahay at tinukso kami nina mama.

May ilang minuto rin syang tumambay sa bahay.

Inihatid ko sya sa gate nang magdesisyon na syang umuwi.

"Salamat sa dinner. Text kita ha? I'll see you tomorrow Ali. Please don't ignore me."

Nangungusap ang kanyang mga mata habang sinasabi iyon sa akin.

"I told you I won't. Sige na, tell your mom I said hi. Ingat ka."

"Salamat. Mag iingat talaga ako, pakakasalan pa kita."

I smiled at his remarks and closed the gate nang makasakay na sya ng jeep.

I don't know what's gonna happen next. Magulo akong tao. Maaaring gusto ko ngayon at aayaw na ako kinabukasan.

I used to play and fool around before. Hindi ko alam kung kaya kong magseryoso na ngayon.

Dala ng pag iisip ay nakatulog rin ako kaagad. I fell asleep with two things in mind.

Una, sana makaya nya akong hintayin.

Pangalawa, ayoko syang saktan.