He Doesn't Know

Twenty One

                  

There's a huge ball for the athletes before spring semester starts again and as the day gets nearer I find it harder to process that Fallon will be there too. "Are you sure you don't mind coming with me tomorrow Foster?" I ask him as we're walking back from getting dinner. He looks over at me and replies with sincerity, "I'd gladly be by your side any day you ask me to. Besides with Geisel still being out of town on vacation, I couldn't let you go there and do this alone." I stop walking once we get to the place where we go separate ways and tell him, "Thank you for everything. Truly I owe you so much." He looks at me for about a minute before bringing me into his arms and hugging me tight while saying, "Vera you don't owe me anything." Then he lets go and steps back. "I'll see you tomorrow," he calls back as he walks away. I wave and agree, "Tomorrow."

The next day I'm frantically walking around the room waiting for Liv to get here to help me do my hair. Finally I hear a knock on my door and tear it open to display a dress in my face. Then Liv walks through the door and hangs her dress up next to mine. "Sorry I decided to do my hair at my apartment, before coming over here to do yours," she tells me as she starts to lay everything out to do my hair. "You want it up or down?" she asks. I smile at her and reply, "Surprise me Liv." Then the biggest smile comes on her face when she tells me, "I know the perfect style." Then she makes me sit down on in a chair in front of her.

After two and a half long hours we are both done and looking beautiful. Liv left my hair down while curling it, but wrapped loose halo braids around my head. I step back and look at my golden dress that wraps tightly around my chest, but puffs out at the bottom. I picked it out, because it's the kind of dress you want someone to twirl you in. A princess dream every girl has when their little. "Ok they're downstairs," Liv informs me while bringing me back from my thoughts. "Here goes nothing," I comment more for myself. As we walk towards the entrance of the dorms I see Foster right away. I have to admit he looks so good in a tux and he fixed back his hair so it's not in his face, making him look even better. He's wearing that big smile he gave me at the carnival as I approach him. "You look so beautiful Vera. I'm the luckiest guy to have you on my arm tonight," he tells me once I'm standing in front of him. "Thank you Foster. You look really handsome all cleaned up," I admit to him. He smirks at me and questions, "Meaning I'm not whenever you see any other day?" My cheeks blush and I laugh a little while playfully smacking his arm. "No you knob," I defend myself while linking my arm with his. He laughs along and we begin to walk towards his car.

"You know this is only my second year here, but I feel like these things only get more extravagant as each year passes," I convey as we're walking into the building. I try not to look around too much at the people around us, because to be honest I'm afraid I might find Fallon and lord forbid finding Connor. "Are you okay?" Foster asks me clearly seeing my odd behavior. "I'll be fine, because I have you and you always make it better Foster," I reply with the truth. His eyes soften and he gives me a small smile before leading us towards an empty table.

After a while Foster stands up and takes my hand to lead me to the dance floor. "May I?" he asks me while bowing in front of me and kissing my hand. I laugh and reassure him, "Always." He stands back up and gives me another smile while taking my hand into his and softly pulling me against him. There's a live orchestra playing tonight, so the moment he begins to lead the dance I can't help but smile how perfect this moment feels. I look him in the eyes and then all of a sudden I'm lead into a spin. My dress perfectly fans out like everything I wanted it to and in these seconds I'm truly happy. I end up in Foster's arms with our faces only inches apart. "Foster," his name escapes my mouth. The next thing I know is our lips finding each other's, but it feels wrong. I step back and look at the ground as I feel my eyes water. "Vera I'm sorry I didn't want you to find out how I feel like this," Foster tells me while stepping towards me. "What do you mean? How long have you had feelings for me Foster?" I ask while continuing to step away from him and control the tears threatening to spill out.

"Vera the reason I broke up with Phoebe was because I started to have feelings for you," Foster admits. My heart sinks at those words, because all of this, all of our time together during winter break has been a lie. "I know what you're thinking, but it's not like that Vera," he conveys. "Then what is it like Foster? Has everything you've said only been, because you wanted to be with me? How can our friendship not be a lie?" I ask with my tears slowly falling. "Everything I said was with my heart. You mean the world to me and don't ever think for one minute that our friendship is a lie. I never made any kind of pass at you, because I know you still love Fallon. I know you're still hurting," he replies, but doesn't take the few steps to get to me. "Vera," I hear Foster call my name, but I turn around and make my exit towards the door. "Vera wait!" I hear him call again, except I can already feel the cool wind on my face from being outside. A hand grabs my wrist and I stop in my spot to tell him, "Let me go Foster." But he doesn't let me go, so I turn around and face him. Except it isn't brown eyes I'm facing, no, it's piercing blue eyes that are locked with mine. "Fallon," I whisper.

I can't breathe in this moment, not only is it cold out in this dress, but I literally can't breathe with Fallon standing here this close to me. His touch is the only thing that is making me warm and when he lets go of my wrist I can still feel where his hand was on my skin. He slowly takes the step towards me to fill the empty space between us and looks down at my eyes as he wipes away my falling tears. "Don't cry Vera," he whispers while placing a kiss on my forehead. Then he takes a step away from me. I'm already missing him being close next to me. He grabs my hands into his and tells me while never taking his eyes off of me, "I completely fell for you. Everything you do, everything you say, everything you are. You're my first thought in the morning, you're my last thought before I fall asleep, and you're almost every thought in between. I love you Vera and I'm so sorry for ever letting you go. I've missed you so much it's driven me crazy. I've wanted to call you every day just to hear your voice, but I never got the courage after making you cry that day."

A gasp escapes my lips and I have to look around to make sure I'm really here awake with Fallon standing here in front of me confessing to me. "Say something, please," Fallon pleads to me. I look back into his eyes and if let myself I would melt with the love he's giving me just with his eyes. He's been hurting just like I have. He's missed me just like I have missed him. He still loves me just like I still love him. I want to say all this. I really do, but the person I finally notice standing off to the side pulls me back to reality. Foster. He stares at me with a frown clearly on his face, I'm sure he's seen everything. I'm so confused on what to do, to go to Fallon who no matter how much I love, I have to admit our relationship has only caused fights between us. Or to Foster who clearly has feelings for me and who's been here for me all year long.

I don't want this right now. I which it really was a dream. I take a step away from both of them and finally say, "I can't. I'm sorry I can't do this." Then I turn around and leave both of them behind. This time I can't stop the tears from falling and I think deep down I don't want to. They don't know what they're doing to me. How could I choose between two people that mean so much to me without hurting the other?