text me | tj + jd

6.6

josh;

tyler's scream ran throughout the abandoned, wrecked apartment. when jenkins brought us here, my first thought was this is a crack house. im for sure. (quite the opposite i was going for to help tyler...). jenkins and i had carried tyler into the the lonely bedroom. jenkins then rushed me out of the room, which was very rude in my opinion. he had said something about not wanting me breathing down his neck. i was sad and worried about it, but i also understood my older friend had his reasons. i just want my tyler back. my. i thought, damn it! im not gay... right? i shook off the confusing thoughts and focused on my friend whom we had been through more shit than me and ashley... and i had known ashley much longer.

jenkins came out of the bedroom –  simultaneously not allowing me to see the inside of the (probably) wrecked room – and announced, "tyler will come back to reality in a couple of hou-"

jenkins was engulfed in bear hug from yours truly. i erupted in a cry of thank you's. he lightly pushed my shaking body away and mumbled something about no pda. i followed the older boy to the lonely, ripped couch. my left pocket erupts in vibrations right when i sit down. i sigh and pull out the phone.

jenkins asks, "ashley?"

"of course."

"ashley im sorry i havent called... we've just been-"

"stop, josh." her voice... her voice was horse and in her throat. i could feel her pain. it was as if i could clutch it in both of my hands. what have i done now? ashley starts up again. "josh i cant do this anymore if you're just going to keep disappearing. i know your went to help tyler, but – baby – cant you see? we can't keep thinking we're okay... we're seniors now, jo-"

"the fuck are you doing?" i see jenkins raise his eyebrows at my choice of words, questioning what was happening. "you know that im with tyler because he was in trouble!" my mind immediately pushes the images of the sore sight of tyler when i found him strewn with the garbage at the dark, malodorous alley. oh, the blood. all the blood. the scratches on his arm looked like a cat on cat nip in a drape store. even though he was unconscious then, he still looked extremely petrified. though i could not see my face, i knew most definitely that my eyes we're glassy like icy, fresh washed china. ashley wakes me up from my emotionless expression by replying, "i know josh... just go figure out who you love, okay?"

did she just...

"goodbye, josh. we're over but i hope you choose me..."

the line clicks, and as if the connected call held together my phone and my hand, the phone drops to the ground.

i place my hands over my face, sighing heavily.

"josh?" jenkins asks.

I probably deserve this right?

i left her alone and mad...

what about him?

i left him alone and mad and scared and...

what about me?

no one thinks about how hard it is for me. i have to try to keep my insane friend alive. keep him thinking positive thoughts.

I hadn't been a very good friend lately.

maybe i do need to figure out my feelings for him before he wakes up or at least before i see him.

---

i am shaken awake from the deep sleep i didn't know i was in. i swipe blindly (hopefully) in the direction of the annoying arm.

a familiar voice, yet scratched a bit, announces, "hello!"

tyler?

what the hell was he doing up walking already?

and what was i going to do about ashley?

what was i going to do about tyler and the stupid fucking drugs?

what a distress.

***

a/n
this chapter has taken a few weeks so i apologize. ugh i have mid terms next week. anyway, its amazing how much this story has grown. i still have a lot for this story to grow. um this grew like 20k reads in one-two month(s).  also, if you didnt know this by know, ashley is the singer halsey. ashley is her real name. i love you, keep commenting. :-)