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i mean i guess ill add some fluff to this stressful situation ;) - a/n



UNEDITED
third person;

"i don't like sharing you!

"why are we even arguing about this right now?"

"you realize were stuck in this basement with psychopaths just above us right?"

might i add that this is all your fault!"

"how is this my fault?!"

"all you ever seem to do is bring trouble with you!"

"yeah righ-"

"let me name a few; that time at jackson's party when you got drunk and i had to go save you, that time at the coffee shop when you made a fool of yourself, and just a few days ago when you got high off some random new drug. and guess WHO had to save you, tyler? ME thats who. but hey, guess i can't come to your rescue now, can i?"

"..."

"tyler..." josh's voice came to a stop, instantly regretting yelling through the vent at tyler; even though what he said was kind of  the truth.

"i see. if that's how you feel, if we get out of this, you wont have to deal with me anymore."

the conversation between the two boys in the separate rooms, yelling through vents, comes to an abrupt end. it leaves them both feeling lost, scared, and especially alone. the air felt as if the words yelled between the two were stuck and never fleeing.

this being alone, tyler thought to himself, is so very different than being away from him as if we were home and not trapped. (a/n what tyler means by this is that he feels alone even if josh is right in the next room. it's like going to a party but feeling alone even if there's a person next to you.)

flash
(sometime between after the party with jackson and when tyler moved to a different school)

it was a friday night. josh had just picked up tyler from his house. the two waved goodbye to ty's mom and hoped in the rusty 1900s car. (a/n the car isnt actually from the 1900s. its just old and crappy) tyler laughed as josh started to dance like a chihuahua on cocaine to the radio as he was driving down the road. as they were headed to the movies, tyler turned down the music as the song died down and, he spoke up.

"what do you want to be when you grow up, josh?"

joshua laughed, and asks, "what is this? twenty questions?" tyler shrugs not knowing how to respond.

josh notices the seriousness in tyler's expression and replies, with a sigh, "i want to drum. you know, like maybe get mentored by the big guys like van halen, clyde stubblefield, and john banham. my parents of course think it's crazy." he rubs his free hand in his red dyed hair. "i mean but they already think im crazy... they think im just in my 'rebelling teen' phase."

tyler, in awe, responds, "i think that you can do whatever you want - especially if it makes you happy."

"thanks tyler."

the conversation dies down, and the boys arrive at the movies with few words exchanged besides the usual small talk about classes and plans.

tyler thinks to himself while staring at josh's hands. his hands were kind of small but they seemed... powerful. they looked soft like a cloud but his fingertips looked hard with calluses. josh's drummer hands. tyler thought it was just amazing that josh already knew what and how he wanted to become. tyler couldn't even figure out if he wanted to be anything when he got older; if he even wanted to be alive. i mean, of course he wanted to do things. it was just that the thought of floating in oblivion called to him a bit more than worrying about how to pay for schooling and rent. he just thought it was much more convenient to be dead. josh's right hand moves from his side to in front of my face. it takes tyler a second to realize that josh was trying to get his attention.

"oh! sorry, what was that?" tyler asked.

josh chuckled a reply. "i was asking if you were gonna see the movie with me since you've been staring at the ground for a while." tyler looks over at josh's left hand (opposite of the hand closest to tyler) to find a bucket of popcorn and two drinks. tyler hadn't even noticed josh paying for the tickets and the food. tyler had been too much inside his own head to realize that he should have payed for one of the two.

"here," tyler grabs the two red and white striped cups. josh becons for tyler to come closer and wrwaps an arm around tyler's shoulders. "now, come on silly. we've got a movie to watch." the two boys giggle like school girls on the way to their seats.

it was a nice movie. but all too true for the two. there was one of the main characters always getting in trouble; whether it was at school, home, parties, it didn't matter. and then of course her best friend who had the biggest crush on her always cam to the rescue. the only unreal happening in that movie was that the best friend never complained about always having to save the troubled girl. he always had a happy face to see her. and that right there is what is wrong with movies these days. they don't talk about the pain and trouble both characters are going through. i mean, sure, they do with simple things like "oh, no the girl i like will never love me." well, the guy main character was wrong. the whole time he never tried to put himself in the others shoes. both characters needed to do that. And that is what tyler and josh need to do, but tyler is so in love with the boy that can't seem to find that he actually likes other boys. and josh can't seem to find that there are other ways to "save" people. first, he needs to listen to his feelings and then, JUST LIVE.

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a/n i finally finished this chapter ;-;

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