Never too far from a beautiful mystery

Deep conversations

Andrew's Pov

The weather was like a weight, grey and heavy. True beauty. It reminded me of Emily, someone so grey, yet so beautiful at the same time.  I'm interested in hearing her express herself. How will she react? How will I react? The thought of telling her my feelings was different. It scared me, but at the same time, I can finally let go.

She pulled me by the arm, like a happy kid, pulling his first balloon around. Her eyes scanned the open green field around the rehab. Then she said "hey let's go over there". She pointed at a little grass hill, that rose slightly from the ground. We walked over and she laid on the grass hill. I sat beside her and took in the nice breeze.

Emily takes a deep breath, "last night it was easier to sleep, you helped me a lot".  That comforted me, a connection was growing on both of us. I pluck the  grass, counting each piece, "last night I rested easy myself, thanks to you". She smiled "I'm glad your my partner". I laid back on the grass "I feel really comfortable being around you and talking with you".

She chews her finger nails nervously, maybe because she needed gear. I know that anxious feeling all to well. I  ask "is everything ok?"

She answers nervously "not really, to be honest with you, I'm losing my sense of reality". I grab her hand, to see if she would calm down. Her eyes watered, they screamed for help. I hug her "sometimes I feel like I'm not real, or at least pretend that I'm not. I know how hard it is to put yourself in a world, where everything is different and overwhelming, it's almost like we're the one's that are real and everything else is just imaginary".

She squeezed me with her tight grip "when I used to take my mom's pills, I wished and begged that things would stay that way, when I was faded, I was happy. The pain wasn't real, hell reality wasn't real". I say "sometimes reality is scary, but it's worth living in a world that's scary, than living in world faded and not knowing what reality is".

She says "that's one of the reasons I came here, I was loosing sight of what was real, in part it was a good thing, since my mom didn't help. She's been an addict her whole life". She pulls away and wipes her tears "there were nights where I prayed my mother wouldn't of drove my father away". I ask shyly "may I ask, why did he leave?" She smiled but her smile was just hiding her true seriousness.

"I guess he just got sick of my mom's shit, she gets fucked up every night. Then she would hit and mistreat him, always fighting and yelling every night. She would even steal money he worked hard for, money for food and rent, just so she could get faded".

Emily was letting go of so much pain, her voice was shaky, she was trying not to cry. "Then one day he said enough is enough, he wanted to take me with him but the state wouldn't allow it, since my mother and father weren't married. So I had to wait until I was 14 so I could choose who I lived with".

I rubbed her shoulder "why didn't you leave?" She rested her head on my shoulder "because when I turned 14, I couldn't find him, we lost contact with each other. I guess that's when I started becoming more and more like my mother, she always said I'd end up like her".

I grab her by the chin "hey, I may not know your mother, but I can tell, you're not like her, just by being here makes you different, you wanted to change and I know that she might not be proud of you, but I am. You are a wonderful and beautiful person Emily, the short time I've known you is enough for me to know that, you make my days happy".

Tears stream down her face, I continue saying "I know how you feel, doing this alone. The first time I went to rehab, nobody wanted to even see how I was doing, my parents were sick of my shit and I lost my best friend, at least this time I'm not alone, we are partners, remember. So don't ever feel alone, I'll be here every step of the way". She smiled and cried at the same time "thank you Andrew, you are never alone either. In just a short amount of time, you've become a very special person in my life, at least now I know, when those rainy days come along, I won't have to walk through them alone".

I wipe her tears away and kiss her on the cheek. Then I hugged her and cried with her, not only to comfort her but also letting everything out myself. It was such a beautiful moment, we hugged each other for about five minutes, enjoying each other's grasp and emotion. Life is pretty hard sometimes, but something about being in someone's arms, makes it all ok.

She pulls away and lays on my lap "how did you end up in rehab the first time?"

Suddenly her phone rang "oh shit, I'll ask you again later Andrew, I have to talk to my mom". I hug her and say "it's ok, I'll see you later". I walked to my room to go and get some rest. I laid on my bed, the only thing on my mind was her, Emily.

After awhile I get a text message from Mrs. A

Mrs: Hi Andrew, I hope everything is going well. My bet is on you kid.

A: Everything is going good so far, I've met some amazing people. I can't thank you enough, you are the best.

Mrs: That's great to hear, I know you can do it :)

That was nice, hearing from Mrs. A. It made me think about calling my parents. Well there is always tomorrow. After a couple of hours just laying in my bed, tossing and turning. I knew I had to call them, right now. The anxiety was eating at me. So I finally called them.

It was a long ring.

"Hello".

I got a knot in my throat.

"Hi mom"..............