Never too far from a beautiful mystery

Head out of the clouds

Andrew's Pov

As I wake up this morning I can still feel myself sick to my stomach and a heavy heart. Sometimes I second guess myself, maybe Stephanie does really care for him and that's what really shatters my my heart into a million pieces. Every time I look in the mirror all I see is pain and fear. The pain of seeing her happy with someone else and the fear of knowing that I'm not enough for her.

I get dressed and put my shoes on, I didn't even bother eating anything because I might puke it up later. I put my headphones on and put my favorite song on take me to church. As I walk to school I look up and see the nice grey sky. The cold wind hits my face leaving my cheeks numb.

I walk past Stephanie's house and see her again with Marcus, I yelled from a distance "what the fuck did you two spend the night in the front yard". As usual I regret even saying anything so I try to keep walking, I hear Marcus yell "what's the matter Andrew are you jealous or just butt hurt". I look over and fake smile, then I give him the finger, I see Stephanie hit his shoulder and laugh.

I just keep walking, as I get farther down the road I feel someone run up behind me and hug my back. I feel those soft cold hands and I knew right away it was Jade. I pick her up giving her a piggy back ride, I say "good morning to you too". She kisses my cheek "oh my goodness your cheek is so cold and kissable, good morning Andrew".

I put her down and gave her a warm hug. She says "I thought you were Mr. Hopeless romantic", I ask her "what did I do that was so romantic?" She smiles and says "even a simple warm hug shielding from the cold can be romantic". I look down at my feet "well some people don't even notice", Jade then stops for a second.

I turned around and saw her eyes kind of teary, I grabbed her hand and tried to say something but she yanked her hand away and said "well you know who notices Andrew, me I notice but I guess I'm not your dream girl, at least I'm here for you every step of the way but that's not enough, maybe you should get your head out of the clouds and stop loving someone who doesn't love you". Tears go down her face as she walked away, I tried to stop her but she didn't want to hear it.

Later in the day after all my first period classes I was going to eat some lunch but my philosophy teacher stopped me, I call her Mrs. A, her real name is Ana. She is the nicest teacher in the school, she is like a second mom to me. She calls me over "Andrew may I have a minute of your time?" I follow Mrs. A to her classroom.

She asked me to sit down, I sit nervously "am I in trouble Mrs. A?" She smiles at me "no dear I just wanted to talk to you about Jade, you know students have confidence with me and I help them out with their problems so she came to me and told me how she felt about the situation between you and her". I explain to Mrs. A "I tried to talk to her but she just left, I really think I have feelings for her but something always holds me back.

Mrs. A then says "I know I shouldn't get involved Andrew but I don't think something is holding you back I think it's someone, I see the way you look at Stephanie every day". My eyes start to tear up "What do you think I should do Mrs. A, I'm scared because what if me and Jade become something more but I still feel love for Stephanie".

Mrs. A hugs me and says "just listen to what your heart is telling you Andrew, don't be afraid of what is, be afraid of what if". I wipe the tears that were going down my face "thank you Mrs. A". She hands me a tissue and says "anytime dear, now go and eat, I can hear your stomach growling". Before I walked out of the classroom, I asked Mrs. A "did she say where she was going?" Mrs. A shook her head "she didn't say".

I searched for Jade all day but no luck, after school I decided to wait in front of her house which is not totally creepy. I sat in front of a tree that was in front of her yard, I was looking at my shoes moving my feet out of nervousness. Suddenly I see someone kick my shoe, I look up and Jade said "what do you want?" I pull her down next to me and hug her "I'm sorry Jade, I'm stupid for not noticing that you are so sweet to me".

She rested her head on my shoulder "you know it's going to take more than a sorry to make me feel better", I grab her chin gently and raised her head closer to mine and said "will this make you feel better", I then kissed her cold yet soft lips. I pull away gently and looked in her eyes and smiled.

Jade then rubs my cold cheek and asks "what if I'm scared, what if this isn't real and you're just doing this so I don't feel like shit?" I press my forehead against hers "it's ok to be scared, because I'm scared too but what I feel for you is real, I guess I had to get my head out of the clouds to realize it". She then squeezes my hand tight and kisses it, that's when her mom came out "now what are you two lovie dovies sitting in the cold, please come in the house".