Never too far from a beautiful mystery

Change starts today.

Andrew's Pov

My growling stomach woke me, an unfamiliar room surrounds me. It had a nice view of the wilderness outside. It was a still a little dark out, the sent of coffee hit my nostrils. I glance at the clock and it was early 7:05am. A perfect time for breakfast.

This was new for me since last time, last time I was in a different rehab center, it wasn't as nice as this one and the employees here seem a lot nicer. Following the aroma of coffee, I finally found the dinning area. It looked like something out of a hotel, it looked amazing.

The first thing I go and get was some coffee, last night it was hard to even get a minute of sleep. I needed something hot in my system, because those cold sweats were destroying me. Not mentioning the nauseating feeling in my stomach.

As I took a sip of that nice hot cup of Joe, I felt relaxed. The caffeine calmed me, it's hard to explain. Instead of filling me with energy, it made me feel mellow. Someone behind me said "you looked like you needed that". I turned around and answered "badly, it was a pretty long night". Then the middle aged man like about in his 40's, shook my hand.

He introduced himself "my name is Thomas, I am a counselor here". His handshake was firm, I also introduced myself kindly "nice to meet you, my name is Andrew, I'm here to turn my life around". Thomas pats my shoulder and says "we're here every step of the way, I was the one who brought you in last night, I guess you don't remember".

I poured a cup of coffee for Thomas since I felt bad not remembering who he was. I said "sorry man, last night was a blur, cream and sugar?" He chuckled and said "hey no worries Andrew, I've had nights like that myself and just sugar please". I hand him the coffee, he takes a sip and laughed "I'm the one who is supposed to serve coffee around here, go relax man, oh and before I forget, there's a counseling session at 3pm". I thank him and proceed to walk outside.

The day was nice out, the sun wasn't fully out yet, so it was still kinda dark. The cold breeze hit me as I took a sip of coffee. Some joggers catch my eye, it looks like it was a routine for them, maybe I would start jogging early myself. There were  also people by the pool, swimming and chit-chating.

After awhile I got bored just looking at people have fun, so I decided to have fun myself. I started exploring the center, I noticed there was a little map of the center on the wall, this place was pretty big, it has a weight room, a basketball court and a tennis court, it has various relaxing rooms, which I'm guessing are like small dens, it also has a cafeteria and many other things.

Since it was still early I decided to try my luck in the weight room. The weight room was pretty big, the treadmill caught my eye the most. I ran for like an hour until I threw up in the trash can, yeah don't judge me. Thank God I was the only one in the room at the time. After that episode, I felt like doing push ups because I wasn't feeling really confident lifting weights alone. You know since my body looks like a toothpick.

I did like five, then collapsed on my chest, I'm so fit. Suddenly from what I can describe a trainer walks in and says "oh hey, I didn't expect anybody to be in here this early, people mostly come around 1 or after 5". I struggle up to my feet and say "I'm new to all of this, as you can see I'm not as fit as you, so if I come early it's not as embarrassing".

He laughed "don't worry kid, I was like you, but all that matters is that you are healthy, remember it's the muscle in your head that counts". I shake the trainer's hand and introduce myself "my name is Andrew". He also introduced himself "my name is Eddie, so let's get you feeling healthy my friend".

After an exhausting work out, I was ready for a hot bath and relax, I say to Eddie "hey thanks man, I'll come back tomorrow". Eddie says "alright cool man". My legs and arms felt like spaghetti. Speaking of spaghetti, I was getting hungry, I went to my room and took a hot bath. Then I stopped by the cafeteria to grab a bite to eat.

I checked my watch and it was almost time for the session. Realizing I didn't ask which room it was going to be held in, I started to panic. I threw the remaining food away and started walking down a hall. I see a man walking towards me with a whole bunch of tattoos and a serious looking face, at first I was intimidated to ask him where the session was being held at but finally found the courage to ask.

"Hey good afternoon, I was wondering, can you tell me where the counseling session is being held?" His serious face, turned into a smile and he answered "just down the hall to the right". I say "thanks bro". He gave me a low five and a bro hug and said "you're welcome man, I'll see you around, I'm going to get something in my stomach". I say "try the quesadillas, they're really good". He gives me a thumbs up and says "alright bud".

It's nice meeting new people, I'm feeling really comfortable here. Nothing feels forced, everything feels natural. I enter the room where the session was going to be held, I was 10 minutes early. There was only three people waiting so far. I introduced myself to everyone, then I sat and waited. More and more people came in, everybody was introducing themselves.

It was time for the session to start, Thomas came in and said "ok, everybody I want all of you sitting together creating a U". The group consisted on 10 people, there wasn't that many of us, making it easier to  form a perfect U. Thomas sat in front of the U. Here's an example just in case:  .
          U

That looks very dirty, not how I imagined it. Anyways, he asked "how is everyone feeling today? I know most of you are new, I know it's difficult at first but difficult surly makes us stronger". Everyone nods their heads agreeing to what Thomas just said.

He says "since nobody answered my question lol, I'm going to start from the left of the U and end at the right side". This was nerve racking since I was in the middle of the U. No I'm not going to make another example.  Mostly everyone said they were doing good. Then it was my turn. Thomas asked me "what about you Andrew, how are you feeling today?"

I answered "to be honest Thomas, I'm ok, not bad or good, I woke up with anxiety and cravings, for food mostly but the other stuff too". Thomas said "it's ok, you can say it Andrew". I felt like all eyes were on me, guess what they were. I said "well yeah the craving for heroin still haunts me, but thanks to a lot of nice people around here like yourself, I feel good, I feel safe". Thomas said "that's great Andrew, that's the honesty I want to hear".

Thomas gets up and continues saying "I don't want to hear just I'm feeling good, I want to hear how your day was, why is it good, what are you feeling, that's the type of stuff that I want to hear, we are here to improve are selves and help improve each other and all of that starts with HONESTY".