Misfortunes of being a girl

Chapter 12

Finally it's lunch.
I ran towards Poppy as I saw her and her boyfriend in the dinner hall.
"I'm sorry, Poppy please I need to talk to you" I said out of breath
"Just say here... It's only Ben"
"No poppy... It's urgent and I'm having problems right now. It's too hard to handle please just come with me I'll be 2 minuets then we'll come back" I begged
"Fine. What do you need?" She asked.
I led her towards the toilets. I didn't look at her all the way and stayed silent. When I closed the door to the bathroom I broke down.

I explained everything.

After telling Poppy we walked out and I dried my tears away. Everything was normal and I was happy again. I needed to get it out.

As we walked back into the dinner hall I saw a tall slim figure. Staring at me.
Ignoring it I sat down awkwardly. He was watching me and I hated it.
I kept my back until Poppy and Ben said to go for a walk. I agreed. I left the door and discreetly looking over my shoulder and he was still looking at me. This time he was stood closer to where I saw him last time.
I shook it off and carried on walking.
Now self conscious I kept looking around for the dark figure. My conscience was telling me that everything was going bad. He'd find me and I'll be stuck. Poppy and Ben would leave me stuck. Alone.
No, Elle stop thinking. It's fine.

We carried on walking and he was stood in front of me. But he wouldn't move.

"Josh?" I said quietly.
"Shut up" he spat.
"Erm... What are you doing?" I asked
"Doing what I warned you about" he smirked. I tilted my head.
"Oh okay then... I guess I'll be away then" I said still confused
"Nope.. You're not moving"
"And why is that?
"Because I said so"

It hit me. My anxiety and fear all came at once. All of a sudden i was scared.
I couldn't breathe. I grabbed for Poppy's bag. Falling to my knees I gasp for help.
I could hear faint voices. I didn't want attention. I didn't want anyone. I wanted Izzy and Poppy. I couldn't call Izzy because she was at school and we can't have out phones. I was with Poppy but I felt alone. I saw white walls suffocating and closing in on me.
I gasp for air hugging Poppy. She's dealt with this before. She knows that all I need is a quiet place and a hug. No talking. No people panicking around me, it makes everything worse.
Instead she got angry as she sat on the floor looking into my teary dying eyes.
"LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO HER!!!" She screams at Josh.
Ben takes Josh away and comes back a short while later. His fists had blood on them and his lip was bleeding along with a black eye.
"He fought against me" Ben said.

As I sat and cried for Poppy she cried with me. Poppy held me close in a friendly comforting way. My breathing was back to normal and my shaking had decreased.

"You good now?"
"Yeah let's go" i wasn't. I was never okay. Not anymore. Id just had an panic attack in front of about 50 people before she took me away.

Im not okay.