I was always the practical one. I always told myself and told you that of course ILovedYou, but this would some day come to an end. After all, high school sweethearts never last. They're just a sad fantasy, a bud of false hope that we can't help but let grow, only to be stepped on by the sudden heart-wrenching boot of reality.
You. You were always the one who nursed that little pitiful seed. You fed it and nurtured it as if one day it might
actually
be something.
You made me question everything I ever thought I knew about love. Sure, my brain knew that we would someday come to an end, but my heart never did. My heart let that little seed of hope thrive instead starving it before it ever had time to grow like I knew I should have.
My heart believed you.
It believed the ambush of romance and intimacy and ILoveYouMores. And deep down, buried beneath the rightfully forced mound of denial and cynicism and reality, my heart told me in a whisper just loud enough to hear, that you were the one exception. That you would be mine forever like you had always told me. That you would love me.
I suppose in retrospect I was just being stupid. I should never have listened. But how was I supposed to let go of our forever when you relentlessly showered me with unconditional acceptance? How was I supposed to know that in three months post-breakup, I'd be lying in bed alone whispering to myself "I'mStillInLoveWithYou" and beating myself up for my goddamn ignorance because you woke up one day and decided you didn't love me anymore? How was I supposed to know I'd later give anything to be the same girl I used to be and to feel happy and feel happy with you for just one last moment? How was I supposed to know you would break my heart?
YOU ARE READING
Midnight Moments
RomanceThis isn't a story about love. Well, at least it doesn't look like it right now. It's just me. I don't think there's enough out there about what happens when that love ends. What does it look like to be raw and vulnerable? What does it feel like to...
