A Shot At Love [MFBTY- Bizzy AMBW]

Chapter 39

Joon Young's POV:

Mo has been acting strange since yesterday. I know she's been going through a lot since she lost the baby last year. She cried herself to sleep for a month, and after that she hasn't spoken of it since then. I don't mean to pester her about kids; I know it may seem that way, but it's not. I was really excited when she told me she was pregnant, and I've never felt so broken when she lost our child at the end of her 1st trimester.

I'm not over it, so I know she's not over it either, but I think now is the perfect time to try again. I'm aware that Mo has brought up adoption a couple of times since then, but I want her to bear my children. Nothing would make me happier than to know that my wife is carrying my child within her womb. It makes me feel like less of a man when I can't get her pregnant. Is it me? Is something wrong with me? Maybe I should make a doctor's visit.

Being surrounding by friends has seemed to help us out a lot, so we came up with having "Family Fun Day" every 2nd Friday of the month. I don't want to overwhelm Mo with having company over every weekend. Once a month sounds reasonable enough for us. I'd do anything to have her smile again.

"What do you think about adoption?" Mo's voice spoke up from behind me. I stiffened and grimaced. I could feel her losing hope of ever carrying our child to full term. Even if her light of hope goes out I'll shine mine for the both of us. This is what we both want; this is our hearts desire. I've been praying every day for a year for God to provide us with a miracle, and I'm not about to give up now.

The odds have been stacked against us, but I know that this can't be the end. Mo is stronger than she realizes. I'll be there for her to remind her every single day if I have to. "Adoption is nice, but I don't think it's for us." I said trying to keep the atmosphere light and friendly. The last thing we need is for us to start an argument over something we have no control over.

I was grateful the moment Mo hugged me from behind, but her words dampened my mood a little. "You never know what can happen. Promise me you'll keep an open mind, ok?"

"What's this about, jagiya?" I asked her, hoping that she would finally open up to me. She's good at hiding within herself; it's frustrating at times, because I want her to be so comfortable with me that she can come and talk to me about anything. She's my wife after all...

I could see the pain within her eyes, and just as she was about to answer me her phone rang. "Sorry. I'll be right back." I watched her closely as she left the room and went upstairs. I knew something was up; she usually answers the phone right in front of me. There are no secrets between us, right?

Yeah, I became paranoid, so I had gone to check up on her. As I stopped by our bedroom door my heart dropped overhearing her conversation. "Yeah sure, I'll be there at noon." She whispered. "See you then." As she hung up the phone she whispered again to herself. "Calm down, will ya?"

Quickly making my way back to the kitchen I turned off the stovetop and started preparing the rice. Mo walked back into the kitchen with a strained smile. "Who was that?"

"Huh?" I could tell that I caught her off guard, but I tried the friendly approach, hoping that she wouldn't lie to me. "Oh, it was a job offer." She shrugged as she washed her hands. "I've been getting calls left to right; it's a bit overwhelming."

She lied; I can't believe it. She's not cheating on me, is she? I'll make a doctor's appointment soon. I don't want to lose her over this. I placed my hands on her waist and kissed her neck. I just needed to have her close to me. We haven't been intimate in a month, and her exclusive behavior caught my attention. Turning her around to face me I kept my hands on her waist. "I love you. You know that, right?" I needed her to know how I felt every day that we were together.