A Shot At Love [MFBTY- Bizzy AMBW]

Chapter 80

》》Mo's POV:《《

We serve a big God who is capable of overcoming the impossible and restoring the unrestorable, but healing became available once I started being honest with myself.

I've found that the best remedy for dealing with our false expectations, is by immersing ourselves with truth. The truth is the only thing that will set one free.

"...And I hope you can get off the emotional ledge and find a more secure place to stand, in hope, faith, and love." My Uncle said before we ended the call.

"Thank you, Uncle." When I was going through my divorce, my Uncle and Aunt were back in the states, but they never once disowned me. They listened to me and counseled me, which helped me immensely.

My goal with those who hurt me became disconnection and avoidance which then lead to judgement. In the beginning, dysfunction became a sick normal, stuck like a piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe.

This final reality broke my heart and made me realize I had to ask God to help me.

I was at church one Sunday, after my divorce was final, and the words of the Pastor caught my ear. "Have hope. God is all about breakthrough and what concerns you concerns HIM!"

That was it! This was what I needed. I needed to breakthrough in order to breakout. For months, it was just me going through the motions, making sure my kids didn't suffer. But they did suffer, because I was emotionally unavailable to them. While I had planned to shut the world out, I had managed to shut myself off from my kids as well.

Bitterness is a dangerous pill to swallow. I began choking on my saliva of unforgiveness which closed off my heart from receiving closure. God, I wanted to make them pay, but that would make me no better than them. I was mad at how the world suddenly turned on me.

Who knew you could gain so many enemies and lose what really mattered all within a day's time? I have to be better now. My kids need that stability.

My phone rang bringing me out of my thoughts. "Turn on the news." Ji-hoon spoke softly.

I did as he said and was shocked to see a video of Kim Narae confessing her games. Upon further inspection, I had noticed the guy in the video was the same guy from my hotel room. "What's this all about?" I asked him.

"I think it's about time your name was cleared, don't you think?" He smirked on the other side of the phone, but even then I could still hear the sadness within his voice.

"How are you holding up, Ji-hoon?" My care for his wellbeing was sincere. I could already feel God starting the healing process, and I wasn't going to fight it anymore.

"I'm breaking apart, Mo. I didn't think it would hurt this badly. And the worst part is, I have no one to blame but myself." He poured out his heart to me, and I got to know more about Ji-hoon. "I knew who she was when I met her, but I chose to be blinded, because I loved her."

"I'm sorry, Ji-hoon." And I meant it every word that I said. After I invited him over, I had gone to check on the kids and tidy up. My phone blew up with text messages, phone calls, emails and social media notifications, but I ignored it all.

Turning my phone off, I had gone to answer the door. I was super thrown off seeing the news on my front lawn. I had pulled Ji-hoon inside and closed the door on the reporters with their cameras and microphones, trying to get the latest scoop. They didn't really care that they played a part in tarnishing my name just 5 months earlier.

This was nothing more than a job to them, but I was done being their muse. I hugged Ji-hoon and allowed him to pour out his heart to me. Kim Narae's damage goes further than me. Everyone she touched got burned, and now we're all feeling the after effects of her poisonous bite.