Dare

Chapter 45

| Forty Five |

'Everything happens for a reason'

It had been a little over a month since that night. Whilst it would be a while until I'd feel like myself again, I was healing and that's all that mattered. 

I had to think of this as a fresh start. It was inevitable that the negative thoughts would often invade my daily thoughts despite being unwelcome. But I was still trying. Heart break is painful, but it wasn't forever.

Luke had been of great help these past few days. We had been meeting up frequently, enjoying each other's company with it helping to take my mind of things.

I didn't need a partner in my life. I never thought like that and never will. But I still needed to grieve the loss of someone I truly did care for. And that was ok. I wasn't looking for a replacement.

I know how it looks, with Luke and I. I wasn't using him nor was he a rebound. It just happened to be a coincidence that I had the chance to meet Luke when I did. We were becoming good friends.

Regardless, this journey wasn't about anyone else other than myself. Painful experiences force a sense of awareness in life, opening up new opportunities. I know it doesn't feel like it sometimes, but things only get better. What I've found most valuable from all this is learning to love myself even more than I did before, to prioritise myself and overall just learn from the experience. It was the least I could do for myself.

Today was a special day.

Graduation had finally arrived and I couldn't feel more excited and nervous all at the same time.

* F L A S H B A C K *

"Anyway, my graduation is soon also," I smile. "You'll come?"

"Yeah," he grins.

"Promise?"

"Promise," he chuckles.

* F L A S H B A C K O V E R *

See, this was an example how my mind would often drift back to him. Knowing that a part of me still yearned for him. But, like I said before, it was normal. I was grieving. I had to allow the pain so I could begin to move on.

And I knew that day would finally arrive. I was craving for it, I hated that it was torturing me with its slow pace.

But I had to accept, whether I liked it or not, he was a part of my life. We shared memories together, I learned new things. I didn't need to regret them because they only made me wiser. I have grown a lot through this. So at least I have that to be thankful for.

Both Blair and I changed into our dresses we had been saving especially for this day. We took some photos around campus, meeting with our group. Once it was time, we went to go register and put our graduation gowns on. Only after, to take more photos with the gown itself on.

After all the rush, we found our seats and my eyes finally come to a halt upon my family after scanning endlessly across the crowds. I gave a small wave before seeing the very person I thought wasn't going to make it. My mother. She came. I feel my lips curl slightly into a small smile.

The graduation proceeded and it was now our row to line up on the top of the stairs, patiently waiting for our name to be called out. I could feel my heart race and my body heat up under this gown with nerves.