Dare

Chapter 81

| Eighty One |

Trying to decipher Harry seemed too much of an arduous task. It made me doubt if I was ever going to decode him, and even then, would I ever understand him entirely.

These were incessant worries invading my mind. I craved to unravel this dark secret which had induced havoc into our lives. Yet, I was also terrified. Terrified of the endless possibilities of what it may be, and if it questioned Harry and I's chances of a future together. Was he really the person I believe he is to be? The thought of not knowing Harry completely, haunted me.

Regardless, this everlasting situation had only intensified my curiosity. Hence, my intention at this very moment, was to hold on to the remaining hope I had regardless of how strenuous this all had been. If this was to continue, I had to take things into my own hands, whether he liked it or not. I wasn't going to stay in the dark any longer.

*

It had been a week. Harry's disappearance became a frequent routine. Even to the point that he'd leave without any notice now. But of course, I knew. It was too often, it became normalised.

All this, undoubtedly, wasn't having the greatest impact on us. I heard the same excuses and lies to the point it was draining me mentally. In those times, I forced myself to ignore everything. And when it was times I chose to not, we argued, deteriorating us further.

He defended himself with the claim that I didn't understand. But, how could he expect me to understand something I've been excluded from? I've been given no information regarding any of this. How can he expect me not to worry, when it wasn't long ago that a stranger's existence frightened him? How can he expect me not to worry, when he's leaving at random times and returning with bruises?

His increasing attention to his phone suddenly had become more irritating. Always looking at it. It used to be something even he revolted — the idea of technology consuming someone's daily life. And there he is, constantly on his phone, consuming his life.

Likewise, Time became something he had an obsession with. Constantly checking the numbers on his phone screen or the clock ticking on the wall. I recognised a pattern, there seemed to be a routine. Most days, he would be leaving around midnight. Earliest happened to be 6pm and in other rare cases, he'd be out in the early morning.

With all this, it only made me more curious and desperate for this all to stop. I hated being isolated from the situation, unknown to everything. It was destroying us, I didn't know how much longer I could take. This isn't the life or relationship I want.

Yet, his refusal to let me on his phone, only heightened my concerns further. I always choose to respect everyone's privacy, especially his. But, with all his attention being aimed at the phone, it only made me more fearful of the thought he could be cheating. I always believed Harry wasn't like that, I trusted him. Maybe I was overthinking, but leaving at random times, less attention, more arguments. It just seemed plausible.

Whilst I hoped I was only overthinking, I was beginning to believe I didn't know who Harry really was anymore.

"I need to go," Harry says, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"No." I assert, stopping him. "You are not going out again without any explanation, you have been leaving me all fucking week. I'm sick of this."

"I am going out," He says sternly.

"Harry just tell me what is going on?" I shout.

"Nothing," He yells. "Just to the boys,"

I stare at him.