Minsan, di ko maiwasang malungkot kasi may mga pinagdesisyunan kang bagay na mahirap panindigan kasi masakit, nakakalungkot, nakaka-discriminate, nakakapanglumo, nakakapagod, nakakasawa...
Di ko naman tinatangging at some point, liberating siya pero minsan mapapatanong na lang ako sa sarili ko kung ano bang ginagawa ko sa buhay ko, ano kaya kung di ko to pinili. Hindi pa rin ako sigurado kung tama ba o mali 'tong ginawa ko. At first glance, parang mali pero but if I put everything into consideration, it seems like I did the right thing. I seem selfish. Maybe I am. I'm fully aware that I'm not the only one going through this and a lot has it worse, but I think I'm in the part where I'm having a crisis about how to make this "wrong-decision-at-first-glance" corrected.
Aren't there things worthy of appreciation in my life?
Madami. I'm slowly liking how I'm turning out, but I'm not sure if I'm actually growing as a person. Or maybe I am. Idk.
I think this is all because of the gnawing feeling that all these could easily be taken away in just one snap. I don't want to crawl again. It was so hard to get back up. What can I do though? Change is constant.
Mostly, I want to just be in an eternal hibernation but I cannot deny I'm going to miss out on a lot. Life, in all its tragedy and glory, is still beautiful. Pero minsan, madalas, ewan, nakakapagod. Will this ever end?
I know I can always try, but there is no guarantee of a sweet life thereafter. But then where is the beauty if everything is consistent and perfect, right?
I know I have to take risks. And I do. Okay na. Wala na yata laman utak ko. Tulog na ko
