Fixing Him (A Troyler Fanfiction) [UNDER EDITING]

Prologue

Prologue

Troye sat in his room on the floor while he stared at the wall, unmoving. He had an awful day and was feeling particularly upset that day. The slim boy reached into his sweatshirt pocket and pulled out a blade. He knew what he was going to do was not something that anyone he was close to would ever approve of, but he had an addiction, a painful one at that - a thirst that needed to be quenched.  He rested it in the center of his hand and thought to himself, 'Should I really do this?' Troye had not been one day clean, yet everyday he did everything he could to prevent him from harming himself. 

After about 35 minutes staring at his razor, he gripped the sharp object and pressed it into his hand. As he did this, he let out a sigh of relief. Finally. Finally, he could feel something other than the horrible feelings of hatred, depression, anxiety, loneliness, and the empty feeling left in his heart.

He smiled to himself as he saw the blood drip down his pale white skin, seeing the bright red on white. He did the same thing over and over again on his one arm and then switched arms and did the same thing.

After he finally thought that his work was done, he walked to his bathroom, opened the cabinet above the sink and took out a roll of gauze. He quickly wrapped it around one arm and then wrapped it around the other. He quickly pulled his hoodie back over him and sat back down on his bed and curled himself up in his comfortable blankets. Troye was happy.

If anything, Troye Sivan was not an unintelligent self harmer. He only cut on his upper arms where no one would be able to see, his thighs and upper legs. His sister Sage had often wondered about Troye self harming himself but never said anything. One day she had found a bloody gauze in his room and confronted Troye about it. He had a mini anxiety attack inside, but he was too good to show it outside. He simply raised his sleeves and showed his clean wrists. Of course, Sage thinking that she was completely correct about her theory, was flabbergasted. She abruptly asked him where the blood on the gauze had come from and he had responded with a simple, "I cut myself shaving." Sage was not impressed with his answer but she left him alone about it and called it a day.

This was not a one time occurrence. Sage had many theories about why Troye kept loads of gauze in his bathroom cupboard. She had confronted her brother many times about these theories, but somehow Troye always managed to prove her wrong. Though she pestered her brother constantly, it all stemmed from the constant worry she had for him. 

After a few months, Sage finally gave up on the fact that her brother might be self harming or having suicidal thoughts, and told herself that Troye was a happy teen and her constant worrying was getting a little out of hand. After Troye found out this new information, he immedietly let out a sigh of relief. Yes, he relief had flooded his body, but it also made him feel a little more down because that attention he was getting would disappear.

Troye continued harming himself for two years. His depression gradually increased and his suicidal thoughts became more frequent. He wished that it would all get better like everyone said it would, but it never seemed to. What Troye didn't know was that in a few months he would meet a person like no other, who would change his life forever.