Fixing Him (A Troyler Fanfiction) [UNDER EDITING]

xii. •Tyler•

xii. •Tyler•

I don't know how long I was laying there, but it must have been forever. I cried and cried and cried. I had gotten so much hate in the past 8 hours I didn't even know what to do. I would ever so often go on my twitter app on my phone and see what people had to say. Yes, I did have a lot of supporters. I loved my people. But, in my fragile state, I was not looking at the love. All I could see was the hate and it hurt. The hate hurt me and all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and die.

I suddenly heard a knock at the door. Whoever it was could go the fuck away because I didn't want them.

Suddenly, I heard my door crash open. Fuck. Whatever, in that moment I didn't care who it was.

I felt the bed shake and two pairs of skinny arms wrapped themselves around me.

"Tilly," he whispered.

"Troye," I muttered. My voice was raspy and anyone could tell that I'd been crying.

"Tyler, oh my god, Tilly, you've been like this for how long? A day? You need food, come here," he tried to drag me off my bed and I gave him a look of disgust.

"Come on, Tyler!" Troye exclaimed.

"No, I'm not hungry," I told Troye.

He rolled his eyes, "Tilly, I at least need you to drink, okay?"

"Fine," I gave up.

He gave me my water, made me drink some and laid down on the bed next to me and pulled me into his arms.

"Tyler, I missed you."

"I missed you too, Troye."

"I'm not leaving you this time, I refuse."

"What?"

"Nope, not until you're better."

"I'm fine, Troye," I smiled at him.

He rolled his eyes, "I'll be right back."

I nodded and went back to looking at my phone. I ended up on twitter and there I was, being told to kill myself again.

I went through my mentions while biting my lip, trying not to cry.

"Tilly!" Troye exclaimed, "Give me the damn phone!"

"You're done, Tyler. The more you look at this shit, the more it's gonna hurt. I know what you're going through so please trust me, okay?"

I slowly handed Troye my phone. He tried to take it, but I wouldn't let go so he yanked it out of my hands.

"Thanks," He muttered, setting it out of my reach.

I knew what he was doing was for my own good, but nonetheless I still felt a twinge of anger at him.

He jumped onto the bed next to me and laid down.

"Don't be mad," He whispered.

"I'm not," I muttered back.

"You are! Tilly, if you keep looking at the messages you're gonna get upset!"

"Yeah," I bit my lip.

"Tyler! I'm doing this for one reason and one reason only."

"And what's that?" I replied thickly.

"Because I love you."

I shut up and cuddled closer to him.

"Don't leave me," I whispered as a tear ran down my cheek.

"I won't," He planted a kiss on top of my head.

*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

I woke up with an empty feeling, noticing that Troye was gone. There was a note he left me that said he'd be back and that he needed to pick a few things up from the store.

I shot up and searched for my phone. When I finally found it I smiled to myself. I really did have a problem.

I immediately opened the twitter app. My head spun as I read.

"@hipstaluke: @tyleroakley please do us all a favour and deactive"

"@buturnotmichael: TYLER OAKLEY CAN GO DIE SERIOUSLY ONE DIRECTION HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT NICE TO HIM AND HE CAUSES THIS SHIT!"

"@snowy_nialler: I've always hated Tyler Oakley with passion im

happy #TYLEROAKLEYGOTSLAYED he deserves it"

"@skepticalawley: I wouldn't be surprised if Troye just magically stopped shipping troyler"

As I read, a tear rolled down my cheek. Maybe that's why he really left this morning, because he didn't want me. I put my phone in my pocket and walked into our bathroom. I didn't know what to do. My pain was too much for me to handle. I took my razor out of the bathroom and I slowly took out the blade. I shakily pressed it against my skin as the blood flood down my arm. It was cut after cut and I wondered if this was how Troye felt. I had always been depressed. It was just something that was always there. A hinderance that had always been there. It got so bad when I was in middle school that I developed and eating disorder. I still struggle with body image issues and obviously my depression had minimized but had never really gone anywhere.

I had to be strong for Troye. Troye was the one who needed to be saved, not me. I would save him, but the hater could be possible, Troye may have stopped liking me. He didn't want me anymore. I pressed the blade to my arm again. I bit my lip as it slightly stung, but then smiled through the tears that were rolling down my face.

Suddenly, the door flew open.

"Tyler, no!"

"Fuck!"

"Shit!"

He ran his hands through his hair.

"Tyler no, you don't want this."

He grabbed the razor from my hand and ran to get something.

He came back with gauze and tears pouring out of his eyes.

"Tilly," he whispered.

He cleaned my cuts and then wrapped the gauze around them.

His breathing was heavy and he kept running his hands through my blonde hair.

"Why, Tyler?"

He reached into my pocket and found my phone.

"I'll stop shipping Troyler? What the fuck?!" He was angry.

"Isn't it true though?"

"No. This is bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. Hey look at me," he lifted my chin to look up at him, "I love you. Nothing will change that. Not some stupid directioners, haters, or Liam Payne. Liam doesn't know you like I do. I love you and they can say whatever shit they want but nothing they say will ever change that," He told me as a small smile began to play on my lips.

"Tilly, please don't go on twitter. Or tumblr."

"I have to know what they're saying," I reached for my phone.

He put my phone in his pocket.

"No, the only way you'll start to feel better is if you don't look," I slowly nodded.

"It's late, let's get you to bed, okay?"

We got into my bed together, snuggled up close to each other and I drifted off to sleep breathing in his scent.

A/N: So I rewrote the chapter!! Hopefully it's not too short lol. But Tilly came back yesterday!! <3 Happy tears.

Shoutout to ma internet besties & the troyler squad bc we da best (;

love you guys!

also, my kiks @tinmac11 if anyone ever wants to talk <3

-Kristen