Fixing Him (A Troyler Fanfiction) [UNDER EDITING]

v. •Troye•

v. •Troye•

Tyler left me after kissing my cheeck and strutting out of the room. Damn, could he actually get any more perfect? I sat down, as I was out of breath from what he had done to me. His smell was absolutely intoxicating. I never wanted him to leave, but there he went. My back hurt from sleeping on this damn couch all night. Would it really have been all that bad if Tyler woke up, finding me next to him? Yes, yes it would.

I decided to take a shower because you could never be too clean, right? That's the excuse I'm using today I guess. If you still don't understand what I was considering doing, I guess I'm happy for you. I'm actually really jealous. I'm jealous that you've never felt so numb that you've needed to do something, just so you could feel something again. I really, truly am jealous of your ignorance in this subject. It truly is a gift and I hope you never have to go through it.

I jumped in the shower and started to wash myself. The sharp blade was staring me in the face. I couldn't help myself. I reached over and grabbed the blade. At that moment, I didn't give a fuck who would see the red stains. I shakily brought down the blade to my wrist. But, something was stopping me. Thoughts raced through my head.

"What if Tyler found out?"

"Try to get better, at least for him."

"Troye, don't do this."

As tears streamed down my face, I brought the razor back to its original location. I looked at it one last time, and then turned around, finished showering, and shut off the water when finished.

After I showered and put on decent clothes, I decided that I needed some coffee. I decided to walk to the Dunkin Donuts a few blocks down from where the hotel was located. I was really excited because we don't have Dunkin Donuts in Australia and I just love it so much.

I walked into Dunkin' and saw that beautiful blonde hair that I love and froze. He was with someone. I couldn't see past Tyler's head except that it was a female I let out a sigh if relief when I realized that it was Zoe. She saw me when I walked into line and was within eavesdropping distance of their table. She smiled at me and gave me a look to come over and talk with them, but I really didn't want to intrude, so I shook my head no and gave me understanding eyes after looking at Tyler. The line moved a little and I could hear their conversation clearer. I now stood behind a large man and Zoe couldn't see me anymore. I think she thought I was gone because she looked around a bit for me and then took a sip of her coffee.

"So, what about your love life?"

Oh, I'd love to hear this one.

"Love life? Psh, girl the only love I have is my coffee and the Taco Bell across the street!"

I stifled a giggle, I didn't want to ruin my cover did I?

"Tyler, please. I saw the way you were looking at Troye last night."

My breath hitched and began to feel butterflies. So that's why she made sure I wasn't around.

"Troye? Troye's nothing."

That's all I needed to hear before I bolted out of the Dunkin Donuts. I ran back to the hotel and fumbled with my key to open the door. I finally unlocked it, ran to the bathroom and grabbed the blades. I knew if I went missing, the first place people would look is obviously the hotel room. So, I ran. I ran out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I ran down the stairs, not daring to go in the elevator. I was on the verge of tears by the time I was out of the hotel. I ran. I ran and ran and ran. I probably ran miles but I didn't care, I just needed to get away. I sat down on the grass in a hidden spot by a nearby park. Not even a second after I got down on the ground, I pulled on the razor and dug it into my skin.

I was nothing.

Nothing.

I meant nothing to Tyler.

The words kept replaying in my head as I finally let a tear slip down my cheeck. Each cut was for Tyler and all I did was sit there and cut my body up. It didn't even hurt. Not really. Each little sting it caused showed me that this is real. And I was able to feel something other than the numbness inside my body.

I sat, marking up my body cut after cut, and it must have been at least an hour. I was bleeding all over and I didn't bring gauze.

I cut for Tyler.

I cut for the fact that I was nothing to him.

I cut because I was nothing.

'Fuck Troye what are you doing?', and that caused another cut to be created.

I didn't care about anything other than the fact that Tyler was hanging out with all his friends while I was nothing to him.

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*

It must have been at least another hour has I sat, watching the blood flow down my arms. I didn't realize at the time how deep my cuts were until I actually took a good look at them. My head shot up as I heard a sound.

"Troye?!"

Someone was calling my name.

"Troye!??!!"

Screaming my name.

"Troye.."

This one was a little quieter.

I saw a man sit down on a nearby bench near where I was hidden. I slowly realized that the man was crying. He was blonde and resembled Tyler in all aspects. But it wasn't Tyler. I was nothing to Tyler, he wouldn't come looking for me.

The man put his head in his hands as he cried. It must have been at least ten minutes until he finally lifted his head up. He ran his hands through his hair and stood up. The man was gorgeous. He had blonde hair, glasses, and reminded me so much of Tyler it actually hurt. He walked around the park, slowly, searching for something. He was obviously looking for something that meant a lot to him.

As I watched the man, my cuts started to bleed more, as the scabs that had started some how broke open and blood pooled out. I began to feel dizzy and suddenly, as the man slowly approached me, I felt blackness come upon me.

A/N: Bum Bum Buummm! Ah, I feel so evil! Also, almost 200 reads? What even! Two days ago I was literally at 30. Thanks so much my lovely readers! <3 I'm so sorry this chapter was shorter than the others, I'll make it up to you in the next one (;

I also made a trailer for this! I put it on my twitter, but you can also find it on the media portion of this!

It's also here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1s98NUHLEDs

Please vote and comment, it means so much!

-Kristen