Emotional Shorts

-=Darkness=-

It's silent.
It's dark.
I try to move but my body is restricted by the weights we call depression. I want to move on. I want to climb high. I want to break free.
I cough and splutter blood that pools in my voiceless throat.
I can't scream.
I can't call.

"Move, move" I weakly think to myself. But my efforts are futile, and to my dismay it brings more self hate, blame.

Worthless, pathetic, useless, demon, freak. Attention whore...

What did I do?
Did you not like my breathing?
Did you hate my voice?
My hair?
Eyes?
Smile?
Or was it something completely different?

Was I just a toy for you to play with. To burn and blame. To throw when you're mad, to yell at and complain to?

Am I an object to you? Am I nothing to you? Am I worthless to you?

Silence.
Nothing.
Blank page.

Will you ever answer me? Or will I stay here? Stay here weighed down by depression until I decide to give up? Because I don't see the light at the end if this tunnel. I see darkness. I see hell.
I see death.

Why me?
One cut, will that help?
What about a burn from a flame of a lighter to my own skin from my own hands?

I can't wait for death. I see it now. The solleom void of nothing. I'll find my place.

I'll take the gun to my temple.
I'll slit the vein down my wrists.
I'll hang from a tree by a rope.
I'll swallow a whole packet of pills.

Let me die.
Let me find relief.
Let me leave an idiotic and chaotic world of hate and disperse.
It's hard.
It's dark.

Im scared.
I'm hurt.

My heart contracts as it beats. It's a mocking sign. Harmful and useless. All it ever does. Gets me in trouble. Desperate to save as many lives as it can imagine not realising that the saving it's doing is placing all the thoughts on my mind. My soul. Breaking me even more. The broken pieces of my desperate heart shattering into smaller pieces.

Help?
Save her?
Oh,no.
That won't happen. This world is strange. Dark, cold, merciless, bloody and truthful. Lives lost everyday by many harsh and ruthless things. Whether man or disease or even mental illnesses.
Oh this world is cruel and flesh ripping.

It's dark.
It's cold.
It's harsh.
It's cruel.
It's merciless.

Okay disclaimer! I'm okay!! This is only a bit of my mind once again. I'm not sad or suicidal atm I'm as okay as I can be. Okay!!! That's all!!! Thanks for reading and stay strong my fellow 'Outcasts'.

Quote: "This world is dark. It will never be just black to white. There will always be parts in between. That is life. We will never just be this or that. We are always more than one thing. We are more than unique"-LW