A single slice of paper skin is all that is needed for an addiction to grow.
I should know.
A line from a razor. Maybe three or even ten. Even more added daily while I reopen the wounds. Not letting them heal. Keeping them as a reminder of why they are there.
Telling me I'm worthless so I do t forget it, or that I deserve it so I add more. Because what is a villain without out an addiction. On my side and on my thighs. My wrist and my shoulder. And sometimes on my vein. Never too deep though.
I would not handle the pain. Lines of spotted dots of Crimson, accompanied with a puff of pink irritated skin around the slice.
I want to see the marks.
I want them to remind me of why I do it.
Of why I deserve it.
I hurt them all.
I can't help a soul.
How could someone shattered repair someone whom is broken.
I'm shattered and my smiles are my only glue that holds me up for the longest time.
My silent screams are just wishes firmly dreams to come true.
To be happy again.
Truly happy.
I want to go back to being six again. The age before life took its turn.
The age that I was happy all the time.
At seven I knew something was wrong but I never acted or told anyone.
At eight it got worse so I tried to make people happy in hopes of it helping me.
At nine I looked for happiness in dating, but that only lasted a few weeks.
At ten I was plummeting, still looking for happiness but in different boys.
At eleven I meet someone who made me happy, I smiled and so did he but at twelve we split and he bullied me.
Still twelve I meet the one, at first he was a brother but at thirteen he's a lover. I may be young but I know what I'm talking about. I know what love is.
But I'm spiralling down again. I'm cutting again... And I can't help it. It's an addiction. No one understands, I can't just stop! It's a need!
Like sleep,food and water.
I'm sorry.
I won't die though. I'm not leaving this place just yet.
I have too much work to do.
I'm staying for a long time.
Just I don't know what side of me is arising again...
YOU ARE READING
Emotional Shorts
RandomThis is just a book of what I want to write down. I put it on here hoping it could help others see that their not alone. I would not call them stories or poems. Just thoughts that get stuck in my head for the day, or even just a scene I wish to add...
