When your heart feels like rocks it's just your sadness.
When your stomach feels weird its just your anger.
When your nose tingles its just tears trying to cry.
When your throat is closed it's just your fears.
When your mind is rushing it's just your demons.
But what happens when the smile you smile is filled with jealously?
What happens when someone you could love is also someone you might use?
What happens when you try to back away you end up crying at night?
What happens when you hurt everyone around you so easy?
What happens when you no longer have the demons, because you are the demon?
It's not like I would know.
I'm the one who is confused with her life.
Her mind.
Her heart.
Her voice.
Her existence.
Because what is the point of my existence?
What is the point of it when it destroys others?!
What is the point of my voice if it's just an echo?!
What's the point of my heart if it's shattered?!
What's the point of my mind if it's clouded in darkness?!
Please!
Someone tell me!
Show me!
But...
Then again...
Don't...
Because this existence is just a bomb.
A bomb that will ruin your life.
A bomb that will create such a mass destruction you wont recover.
I am this dreaded bomb.
I refuse to let anyone find the end of the lighted string ever again.
Hiding is what I do best, right?
Lying is all I do, right?
Upsetting and destroying you is what my existence is, right?
You shouldn't want to be around me.
You shouldn't want to hug me.
You shouldn't want to love me.
Why?!
How?!
I'm crazy! I'm bad-shit insane! I'm loony! I'm mad!
I talk to myself! I imagine my own death! I imagine the destruction of the world!
I see everything so vividly! Everything I imagine is like it is right in front of me!
They say to be insane is to do something over and over expecting a different ending.
That's what I do.
I'm broken.
I'm nothing.
But I smile.
Because they are my everything.
But...
I've just destroyed that, didn't I?
What happens when you destroy everything?
What happens when you lose hope?
What happens when you're their hope?
I don't know.
Because I'm asking the questions.
Why would I ask if I know the answer?
YOU ARE READING
Emotional Shorts
RandomThis is just a book of what I want to write down. I put it on here hoping it could help others see that their not alone. I would not call them stories or poems. Just thoughts that get stuck in my head for the day, or even just a scene I wish to add...
