Emotional Shorts

-=Distant memory=-

Many little girls wanted to be a pretty princess when they grew up. A princess like Cinderella, Ariel, Belle, Snow White and many others.

I was no different. But...
I wanted to be a very specific princess.
One that helped everyone.
No matter who.
Good or bad.
Naughty or nice.
I wanted to see everyone smile.

The little girl was smiley, fun, michivous, silly, sweet, kind, cunning and slightly rebellious.

Playing pranks and making up games.
Making friends with everyone on the block and leaving the house whenever she wanted just to go to the park. Never telling her parents.

She was a ray of pure sunshine.
Singing and laughing.
Being kind and caring.
Polite, just how her mother raised her.

But what her family didn't prepare her for was sadness.

Not the falling over and cutting your knee, sadness.

The long, empty and scary sadness.
A seven year old, moving to a new house, new school, new friends, new block to explore...

But where she moved was small... No house close to her for the next 500 meters. But to a seven year old. It felt like miles away.

No new kids her age to be friends with... No sidewalk to bike or scooter or skate board on.

And slowly.
She grew up.
That sadness that had stayed with her, weighing her down.
Pulling her under a blanket of dark.
Shackling her to a cement brick that floated at the bottom of the sea.
Not breathing.
Not dying.

Her sensitive skin was no longer as sensitive as it seemed. By the age of 11. She cut herself with scissors for the first time.

From that grew sadness and an unhealthy obsession with any pair of scissors.

Her thoughts of being a princess cut away.
But her thoughts of helping others, stayed like her scars.

She cheered people up and have them advise. Seeing them smile was one less cut she would place to her skin.

Then she went to high school.
13 year old girl. Silently breaking and helping others in a large new world.

Her boyfriend and her were fighting a lot. To which tore her to shreds.

But then she met them.

The group of people that changed her life.

4 girls and 5 boys.
Everyone of them having their own story. Their own struggles.
They all tried to help others as well.
She fitted perfectly.
She felt like she belonged.

The fights with her boyfriend got worse and feeling for him died. But then new ones flew for someone else.

A boy whom have her hope, happiness, laughter and many other things.

To her, he was perfect. Nothing about him was a flaw. 

She broke up with her boyfriend...
And things spiralled...
Her ex boyfriend attempted...
It was her fault...

Her old friend ended their friendship...
It was her fault...

But the new boy...
The one whom she felt feeling for and whom felt feelings for her caught her as she started to fall. Along with their large group of friends.

The little girl grew up.
That little girl is now a distant memory.

Now we have a teenage girl.
She wants to be a writer or singer or actor. She wants to help people and she does just that.
She has a boy who loves her to death and she loved him more. (In her opinion)
Friends that need her and a life ahead of her.

That long period of lonely sadness is gone. A distant memory.