dirty bradstreet

a thousand times sorry

there's not
a song in the
world that could
explain the feelings
I feel right now
for you so I'm
writing this song
just for that
one reason
I'm sorry I put
you in the complicated
center of a war
with myself over
which man I loved
more and I'm sorry
I used you as a
stress reliever
when I got mad
with life and
when I felt
sad I should've
told you more of
what was going on
and instead used
you for a shoulder
to cry on
and even though
I'm pretty sure
you know it's
killing me
inside not to
admit the one
you were in
competition with
was my childhood
best-friend almost
like a brother
to me... I'm sorry
I wasn't able
to choose out
of both of you
without having
to enter into
relationships
with each of
you and I'm
sorry I told
you I loved
you before
I knew
for sure if
it was really
true or not
but now that
I know it's true
for me I have
to ask all those
times when you
told me you loved
me, did you really
love me or did
you feel like you had
to say it because
I said it to you?
I know this is
sudden but so
is this realization
and another thing
I should mention
every time, we
kissed or I sucked
you off in the
bathroom during
high-school that
was me taking
out all of life's
great frustrations
on you
my mother didn't
like you very
much she kept
constantly pestering
me to break-up
with you and
it pissed me
off enough to
start doing a
rebel act the
first time I saw
you when I didn't
even know you
yet I thought
you were the
weirdest looking
boy I'd ever seen
but I knew
there was something
special about
you. we started
dating junior year
when I asked you
to that dance where
girls ask guys
and ended up lasting
together for a whole
year almost two just
why I let you go
I'll never know
'cause now almost
every night I lay
in bed cry myself
to sleep thinking
about the future
I might've had with
you, how the past could've
been different, and
how i really really
want you back within
my reach with your
arms around me tying
my hands behind my
back just like you
promised me you
would do the next
time we fooled
around with that
scarf of mine
and now that
I've told you
all of this
I'm hoping
you'll forgive
me and take
me back and oh
did I forget to
mention not that
it's necessary
you've won a lot
of prizes
and my heart's
one of them
and if you can't
find it in yours
to forgive me
for this
I'm sorry
a thousand
times sorry
for everything