I slid my legs over the edge of the bed, walking over to the desk on the opposite side of the room. I let out a breath, "I don't understand what's even going on, everything is so confusing I feel so naive."
You'll find out in time, I wouldn't stress yourself out too much.
I looked out the window for a moment before standing up and walking over to the closet, yanking a dark grey sweater off the hanger, gently pulling the sleeve up my arm and over my head, tugging at the edges that had clung to my knees.
I pulled on my slipper boots and opened the door to leave, only to be greeted by a sleeping Jake besides the door frame. I crouched down beside him, he looked as if this was the first time he'd slept in days.
Something in me stirred as I reached up to cup the side of his face, feeling the stubble that tickled my fingertips. I took my hand away when little tingles swam up my arm.
I gently shook his shoulder and he slowly woke up, rubbing his eyes up at me. It was always so awkward around him.
"Because you make it awkward." I nearly jumped out of my skin.
"What?"
He looked as if he regretted saying anything but continued, "Things weren't always this awkward between us. Believe it or not." He added the last part slowly, with a hint of sarcasm.
He sighed "I know you don't remember. . . And that's OK. Even if..." He stood up, offering his hand to me which I reluctantly took, "Even if you never regain your memories." his words almost cut through me and tears began dripping down my face dramatically.
"I. . ." I tried finding the words to say but everything began slipping through my grasp and images began playing themselves like a movie across my eyes.
I watched myself as I stood in the doorway of a beautiful redwood house. I must've just woken up due to my hair resting in messy waves down my back. The door was open but I was content with just leaning in the frame, inhaling the smell of rain and grass.
Jake had come up behind me and hugged me, a huge smile resting on my face as I turned around to greet him, the way he looked at me made my heart melt. He leaned down and trailed kisses down my cheek before pecking me on the lips.
I let out a childish giggle before laying my head on his chest, as I closed my eyes I saw in my head a blurred figure. I focused on it more and before the memory faded to a stop I saw it. A sleek white and beige wolf. It almost looked as if she had golden flecks mixed in.
She was beautiful.
I was breathing heavily when I came back, on the floor with small beads of sweat on my forehead. Jake was sitting quietly in front of me still, as if reliving the same experience, a tear threatened to slide down his face but he quickly rubbed his eyes.
To think that our relationship, whatever it was, had meant so much to him that he'd shed tears for it. "What was that." It wasn't a question I had asked but bluntly stated it in fear as to what that meant.
"The wolf. You." Memories of the other night, however long ago it was, the man called the wolf Jake.
"You saw her didn't you?" I was confused at his question.
"Everything comes back to you, what is it about you that makes me that way?" I stared blankly at him.
I didn't realize this whole time he had still been holding my hand until he squeezed it lightly, his eyes had hints of silver reflecting in them.
"You don't even know the importance of those words yet you say them so bleakly."
I traced my fingers across the bullet-wound scar on his neck, "Who was he".
"I don't think now is a good time to discuss that Kai." his voice was soft and he slowly let go of my hand before standing up to walk down the hall, looking back once before going into his room.
I'm always left more confused and distraught over myself when he leaves.
Zahalu.
I didn't know how well this was going to pan out but I was going to give it my best shot.
