Alpha of Doom

Chapter 32-Heart shaped necklace

Did you know that the loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.

I find hiding my pain easier then explaining it, it doesn't just go away.

Just because I'm used to the pain inflicted on me doesn't mean it doesn't hurt anymore. Pain reminds us that we are human and not numb, well in my circumstances part human.

When I was being tortured being asleep wasn't just for tiredness, it was an escape from reality.

That's why I like to read, it puts me in my own world instead of this dark reality.

When I found out Luca was my mate I was starting to feel hope that I could see the light again instead of being blinded by the darkness that consumed me.

But when he hated me I kept trying and trying because I hated that feeling, now it's slowly coming to pieces and the light is starting to shine again.

But there's always that hole in my chest reminding me that it isn't better and you can get hurt easily.

I've always thought that killing myself would get rid of that hole and the empty feeling inside of me as if I'm hollow.

But the sad thing is that suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else.

That's why I never try to inflict pain on myself or others, I know that Luca doesn't want me in pain; emotional pain.

But he can't stop what alpha Jones did, I don't know if he can get rid of this constant fear and constant hole deep in my chest.

I just don't know....

"Are you okay?" I look up slowly and nod.

He sighs and walks closer to me inspecting my face, he stops in front of me and stays silent.

"You don't look okay."

"I'm fine" I reply back, he doesn't need to know.

'He's our mate Lily' I sigh.

'And I know that Celeste, I know that.'

"Can you just for one second stop lying to me?" He says getting angry.

"I was just thinking" I say not wanting to get him angry then a whole fight start.

"About?" He questions now persistent.