He Lives In Lawrence || Destiel AU

06 ~ Who's Adam?

It was common knowledge that any emotions you felt around your soulmate were much stronger than those that you felt around anyone else; if you were happy, you would practically be bouncing up and down when you were around your soulmate. If you happened to be sad, you'd probably start crying as soon as you became close to your significant other. Dean's mother, Mary, had been telling him this since he was a young boy and he'd never quite understood what she meant until he met Castiel.

As the pair of them sat on the river bank in the empty park Cas had taken them to, Dean was realising the truth in Mary's words more and more. He lay back, the soft grass tickling his neck, and gazed up at Cas. So many emotions and thoughts swirled around in his mind and he sighed. Castiel looked down at him.

"Are you OK, Dean?"

"I'm good," he nodded, rolling over so hat he was closer to the other boy, "I'm great actually."

This wasn't entirely true. The anxiety he felt about being with Castiel in public was even stronger. But then so was the happiness he felt at being with his soulmate, and the need to touch and be close to him. Overall, it was quite a confusing feeling.

Castiel lay down beside Dean, wrapping his trench coat tighter around him.

"It's colder than I expected," Cas muttered with a small shiver. Without thinking, Dean moved closer to him and wrapped his arms around his thin frame.

"Can we eat the pie yet?" he asked as he ran his fingers though Cas' dark messy hair.

"Sure," Castiel replied. Dean sat up and pulled the shopping bags closer to them. Most of them contained the empty packets from their picnic but one had the drinks and pie in. Grabbing the closest flavour, cherry, and a few plastic forks they'd picked up, he tore off the plastic lid and set the pie down between them.

"You're lucky." Dean told Cas with a grin as he handed him a fork, "I never share my pie with anyone, not even my little brother."

Cas smiled, "You have a little brother?"

"Yeah, his name's Sam. He's a bright kid but he refuses to cut his hair," Dean chuckled, "We're pretty close for brothers with four years between us."

"He sounds nice. I'd love to meet him."

Dean shrugged, "Maybe you can sometime soon."

They began to eat the pie in silence. Dean's eyes kept wandering to Cas' hands. They looked so soft and so beautiful with the fading patterns Anna had drawn. Suddenly, he tugged off his gloves and grabbed Cas's left hand, the one he wasn't eating with. Castiel jumped slightly but calmed down as soon as Dean started rubbing circles on the back of his hand with his thumb.

"I thought you didn't want anyone to realize what we are," Cas said quietly, looking down at their hands.

"Nobody else is here," Dean replied, "And plus we drove like an hour to get here, I doubt anyone we know would be around."

"Why does it matter who's around?"

Dean fell silent and Castiel felt his grip on his hand tighten slightly.

Eventually, Dean whispered, "Can we just not talk about it yet?"

"Well, when? When are we going to talk about it?" Cas asked, squeezing Dean's hand.

"I don't know, Cas," he muttered, running his free hand through his hair, "Maybe when we've known each other a little longer."

Nodding, Cas replied, "I understand. But I can't help being curious."

They sat in silence for a while, the half-eaten pie discarded. Dean had lost his appetite anyway. Glinting in the sunlight, the water rippled past them, emitting a gentle whispering sound. Castiel watched the tiny waves leap over each other but his mind was on Dean. What was he so afraid of? Then he remembered what Anna had advised him to say.

"Dean," he began, gaining he other boy's attention. Dean gazed at him expectantly.

"Who's Adam?"

Dean recoiled as if he'd been stung, snatching his hand back to his chest. He curled his fingers into fists, nails digging into the skin, as he tried to control his breathing. In and out. In and out. In. Out.

"I-I'm sorry," Castiel stammered, " We don't have to talk about it. I shouldn't have brought it up, it was just that Anna told me to so I did..." He trailed off. Dean's eyes were screwed shut and he was rocking back and forth slightly. Cas shuffled over to him, careful not to touch the pie, and sat beside him. Gently, he began to rub his soulmate's back as he whispered soothing things to help him calm down. Soon, Dean's breathing was back to normal and he leaned back into Cas, head resting on his shoulder.

"That doesn't usually happen," Dean muttered, "Just don't bring him up ever again. I promise I'll explain at some point, but for now, just don't mention him."

"Of course. I'm very sorry, Dean," Cas replied. He wrapped his arms around Dean and placed a quick kiss on his forehead.

"Cas?"

"Yeah?"

"Pass me one of the beers, would you?" Dean asked. Panic attacks were incredibly draining and he needed something to soothe him even more. Castiel handed him one of the brown bottles from the drinks bag and Dean took it, using the pen knife in his pocket to pop the lid off. He took a gulp of the drink and placed it back down on the grass beside them.

On the other side of the lake, the sun was beginning to set, causing the sky to flood with shades of amber, yellow, grey, lavender, peach. Shadows were forming in the bushes around them and the trees in the distance. The birdsong began to die away until there was only the occasional hoot of an owl and the rustle of water and leaves to be heard. Dean sighed contentedly before shivering. Feeling his soulmate shiver, Castiel wrapped his large trenchcoat around the both of them.

"There should be a blanket in baby if you want to get that," Dean told him, pointing to the car parked on the side of the empty road a few meters away.

"Sure, I'll be back in a second." With that, Cas stood up and Dean shivered again as he felt the sudden loss of the other boy's body heat.

Twigs crunching beneath his feet, Castiel made his way towards Dean's car. By now, the wind was harsh and wintery, and it tugged at his already messy hair, blowing strands into his eyes. His hair was at the length that bordered on too long. The sharp ends of the dark strands could just about reach his eyes in some places, and it really hurt when they did.

He reached the Impala in a matter of minutes and swiftly opened the boot, reaching for the messily folded red blanket. He took it and just as he was about to shut the door of the car boot, he noticed a large torch. Taking that too, he headed back to where Dean was waiting.

When he arrived, he sat down beside him and spread the blanket over them both. Cas felt Dean lie down, so he did the same, feeling the grass bend beneath his weight. Dean shuffled closer to him and he wrapped his arms around him, reaching for his hand to hold again.

The soulmates lay there for a while, never speaking, just lost in thought and the feeling of being so close to each other. Eventually, Dean felt sleep creeping up on him and he gave in, shutting his eyes and letting his tiredness consume him. He felt safe with Castiel by his side. Meanwhile, Cas himself was gazing up at the stars. He felt Dean's body relax against his and smiled. Turning his gaze towards him, he watched his chest rise and fall with his steady breaths and the moon illuminate his features before falling asleep himself.

A.N. well that was incredibly short but hopefully it was cute. I'm actually writing a plan for the story now, so hopefully updates should be more frequent. sorry about the lack of updates, I've just been feeling really shit and I just couldn't bring myself to write. Or do much else tbh. Anyways, night!