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Chapter 43: I Sky You

  Don't turn it all inside
I don't like to see you cry
I don't like to see you cry

Without Words - Ray Lamontagne

SO THERE I was, standing in front of the love of my life, looking the worst I possibly could and wondering what the hell I had just said. The look on his face only brought added uneasiness to my overall state of despair.

"Did you just say you wanted to leave him?" My inner voice questioned.

"What?" Harry breathed as he turned around, placing his feet on the floor and standing up.

"Guess you did," the voice declared.

I shook my head as he approached me, "That came out wrong, I'm...I have so much going on in my head," I stuttered.

He stood taller than ever in front of me, sorrow in his eyes, "Then tell me what it is because I woke up at 10 in the morning and you were gone and I lost count of how many times I called you without an answer, do you have any idea of how fucking worried I was, Olivia?"

His voice was slowly growing, "And now you tell me you want to leave me?"

I locked eyes with him and still, words failed on me, "I didn't mean that," was all I could mumble.

"Then what did you mean?!" He barked.

"I needed to think, after last night, I just needed to...think."

His jaw clenched, "You don't get to walk away from me every time something doesn't turn out the way you wanted to! You get to fight beside me because that's all I'm doing here!" He screamed in a way I never thought he was capable of. I could tell he was torn and I knew then I needed to just blurt out everything that was on my mind before creating more confusion.

I raised my hand and placed it on his shoulder, his body froze under my touch, "Baby, please," I begged while pulling him in for a hug he reluctantly ended up falling for.

"Can we please talk?" I asked slightly pulling away and he nodded in response.

I intertwined my fingers with his and led him inside the house, I was shaking at the mere thought of what I was about to say as we sat next to each other in the living room.

"Is this about Lauren?" He asked before I could start speaking, "Because I swear I didn't know she was coming."

I shook my head, "It's not about that, although seeing you with her last night triggered many feelings in me and made me realize that things needed to change," he fidgeted in his seat and I hurried to keep on talking before losing track of my ideas again, "last night you were happy again H, and I was crushed to know I haven't been able to make you happy like that lately."

"Baby," he whispered and grabbed my hand as I started crying, yet again, "you make me the happiest."

"No, I don't," I said wiping a tear from my cheek, "and I'm so sorry for dragging you into this drama, for not seeing earlier that you were becoming somber...I don't want you to bear with me anymore H, I love you too much to hold you back from who you are."

"I don't bear with you, I want to help you and be here for you," he assured while circling his arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer to him to place a kiss on top of my head.

I was fully sobbing by that point but knew I had to go on, "H, you have left almost everything behind for me the past six months, you didn't even have a proper birthday party because you were flying back to London to keep me company while Noah was at the hospital-"