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Chapter 41: White

  Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

Blackbird - The Beatles  

HARRY'S BROWS WERE knitted into a frown almost instantly; his eyes impatiently scanned the room looking for mine. His face was quite often turned down into a frown; he frowned when he was worried when he was upset when he was entirely focused on something, when he was trying to conceal a smile or trying to make a point, and when he was approaching to kiss me. He frowned all the time in the cutest way. When I was at his mom's house, I even saw pictures of him as a baby frowning. Right after his dimpled smile and the way he buried his face in the crook of my neck when he hugged me, his frown quickly became one of my favorite things in the world.

His eyes met mine interrupting my train of thought when he squinted searching for an answer. I pressed my lips into a line and shook my head trying to assure him there was nothing to worry about. The truth was, only seconds before, the loud and painfully clear voice from Lena's FaceTime conversation startled all of us and cut like a knife the somewhat peaceful atmosphere that reigned in Harry's living room.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" The yelling felt like nails screeching on a chalkboard and, ever since the accident, I was extremely sensitive to any uproar or sharp sound.

We all exchanged wide-eyed glances and J, who was snuggled beside me ever since she arrived a couple of hours before, stopped caressing the top of my head. I didn't have the heart to tell her it was starting to get annoying, so I was grateful when the sudden drama froze her enough to interrupt her petting.

Lena shut her eyes and took a deep breath, gathering some self-control, "Amy-" she begged quietly.

"Don't you 'Amy' me!! Who do you think you are to keep things like this from me?! I found out through the news!" She was out of control, angrily screaming.

I knew Lena and J chose to wait until I was out of the woods to tell her, they didn't want to worry her knowing she couldn't do much from across the Atlantic.

J stood up and tilted her head enough to appear on the screen, "Amy, calm down," she asked in her usual calm tone.

That seemed to ignite the fire even more, "Don't you fucking tell me to calm down!"

"Amy! Liv is right here beside me, so please try to relax," Lena muttered in between teeth, her fake calmness completely gone.

"Good! I don't wanna talk to either of you so put her on," she instructed sharply.

Lena rolled her eyes, huffed loudly, and handed her phone to me, "Hi Amy," I said curling my lips into a grimace that was the closest to a smile I could make, but I felt a knot in my throat the second I saw my friend on the other side of the screen.

Amy wasn't doing any better; she was a mess of sobs, curses, and unintelligible words before my eyes, "I want to go to L.A," she finally managed to say with a shaky voice in between sniffles.

"Amy...you have Noah, I don't think traveling with him it's the best of ideas," I tried to reason.

"I can- we can- I can sort it out," she stuttered, "I really want to be there for you."

"You are, and I need you to take good care of Noah, coming here is not a good idea, "I insisted. I wanted her to come, of course I did, but it would have been selfish, not to mention risky for her to do it.

"Is Harry there?" she blurted somewhat regaining composure, "Is he?" Her demand came after a few seconds of doubtful silence from my side.

"Yes, I am," he said while leaning in front of the phone camera, "how are you, Amy?" He asked while waving his hand and sitting on the spot J had left beside.