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Chapter 18: Begin Again

Turn the page
Maybe we'll find a brand new ending
Where we're dancing in our tears

Lost Stars - Adam Levine

EIGHT.

That was the number of women, including myself, that were linked to Harry by the press in just the three months after that infamous night in Paris. As much effort as I made to stay away from any gossip, information finally reached me. I was, of course, linked to Harry, then to Matt, and after that to both of them at the same time. I was also pregnant for a few days after having a big lunch, but that rumor died quickly. Until they eventually forgot about me. Harry and I never saw each other again after that night, so the stories vanished fast before getting any stronger.

I will not lie; I wanted to see him. I missed every part of him, his touch, his kisses, the smell of his skin, and the warmth of his body against mine. I also missed the dimples that dug into his cheeks every time he smiled, the high pitch of his laughter when he found something hilarious, the never-ending ramblings about the most random things, and the undivided attention he always gave me with wide eyes and slight nodding following words.

I missed him so much it hurt.

Especially after each time, he called me. We spoke after the first three rumors of him being with other women. The first one caught me off guard, finding out through him, but the other two I was almost expecting his call. Each time I told him he didn't need to explain it, he replied he wanted to. With Gemma's words still echoing in my head, on the third call, I firmly explained to him that I wasn't interested in anything that had to do with his personal life and that he should stop contacting me.

He did so.

I hated myself for many weeks longing for a new call. At least a message.

After being miserable for way too long, I decided that his silence and my reaction in Paris were for the best. But even with the full determination of overcoming that moment, my stomach flinched at the sheer thought of him. Instructed by Lena, my friends stopped mentioning him in our conversations which was quite a task considering J was dating one of his best friends. I asked Nick to block his name from any media clipping that he sent me and I even deleted his number from my phone protecting myself from calling or texting him in a moment of weakness.

Slowly but firmly the time we spent together seemed more like a dream and less like reality.

After putting my career on hold, it wasn't long until I started having too much free time and decided it was the moment to focus on important things. I teamed up with Lena and we founded 'Care' an NGO dedicated to helping women that were victims of domestic violence. I'd been meaning to do that for many years not only because it was an issue that was close to my heart but I also felt the need to give back. Our primary goal was to assist and protect women who were facing life-threatening situations at home. We gave them legal advice, psychological support, and even a place to live if needed.

It was a lot of work, but it was also becoming the most rewarding experience of my life.

*

I PRESSED THE phone between my shoulder and my ear to open the door and grabbed George by his collar with my spare hand to keep him inside the house. Adam walked in swiftly and I mouthed for him to wait for me until I hung up and take a seat on the living room couch.

"Sorry about that, it was the catering for the fundraising," I explained joining him.

He smiled, "Not a problem, how is it going? Need any help?"