Redemption

Chapter 2

Kat squeezed her eyes shut as she put the car into park. She sat in the parking lot outside of her workplace, her fingers tightly squeezing the steering wheel. A quiet sigh escaped her, and she opened her eyes again, willing herself to get out of the car and put on the brave face she always did when around coworkers and others who knew nothing of her home life. That was pretty much everyone but Felix.

Opening the door, she grabbed her purse and walked to the sidewalk, her heels clopping on the pavement. I will not let them see what has become of my marriage. I will not let them see me fall apart because of this. Lifting her chin, she strode to the front door and went in, steeling herself for a long day and a lot of forced smiles.

***

"So... How are things with Felix? Are you two holding up okay?"

Kat glanced at her co-worker, Gemima. She smiled wanly. "Oh, we're doing okay, I suppose."

Gemima crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe of Kat's office. "Liar."

Sighing, Kat waved for her to shut the door. Gemima did so and sat down in the chair in front of Kat's wide desk. "You won't let this drop?"

"No. Something's clearly not right, Kat. Is he hitting you?"

"What? No!" Kat's eyes widened. "He would never, ever do that." He might ignore me, sleep with other women, and hate my guts, but he'd never abuse me. Felix's not that kind of person.

"Okay... So what's wrong?"

Kat sighed and ran her fingers through her dark hair. Tugging on a few straight strands, she said, "He's mad at me. For losing the baby... He thinks I'm to blame for losing her because I worked too much and stressed myself even after the doctor warned me I'd lose the baby if I did."

"He blames you? From what you've said before, it sounds like he never helped you out when you got home. How were you supposed to avoid stressing yourself out if he was always off doing things, working, or lazing around watching TV while you worked?" Gemima asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Well... He feels partially to blame, I think..."

"But he's taking it out on you?"

"Yeah... Worst part is, I think he's right," Kat admitted, looking down at the oak surface of her desk with blurred vision. She bit her lip, unable to meet her co-worker's gaze.

"He's not. Nothing you changed would've saved her, Kat. You did your best. If he can't see that, maybe you should just leave."

"I can't," Kat mumbled.

"Why not? You're able to make enough money to be independent."

"That isn't it... I still don't want to give up. I still love him."

"Trust me, girl. A few months of being single, and you'll be glad to forget that jerk."

Is this the kind of mess that results from ignoring those who are older and wiser? Kat wondered. Is this what I get for defying my parents? No... There is no God. There is no such thing as divine intervention or guidance. It's all about your choices. I made mine. Now I've got to figure out what to do now that the decision isn't turning out like I hoped it would.

"Kat? Are you paying any attention to me?" Gemima asked, waving a hand in front of her.

"Sorry... I'm not really feeling well. Is Jack around?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I need to go home," Kat said quietly, pushing away from her desk.

"Was it something I said?" Gemima wondered aloud, following Kat out of the office.