Gone Forever

17 / Wounds

"It's Yoongi." Namjoon huffed.

I stared at Namjoon with confusion.

It seemed like something terrible had happened by looking at the expression on his face.

"What do you mean?" I slowly asked him, eyes wide open.

"He's in hospital," Namjoon answered with a small pause as he looked at Jeongguk. "Na In, you have to come."

I felt extremly scared.

I was shaking.

I shouldn't have felt that way.

I looked at Jeongguk in his eyes.

His eyes look at me with confusion.

But he said to me,

"go and find him now."

I was confused.

"Why?" I replied him. "You know I have nothing to do with him anymore."

Because I know he still has a place in your heart. (Jeongguk's soliloquy)

"Come on,"  he nagged at me. "We need to go see him. He still is our friend, right?" 

I nodded at him.

He smiled back at me.

I could tell that it was a forced smile.

Even though it was a forced smile,

it still made me feel warm.

Why Jeongguk, why?

Why did you have to be so nice to me?

You knew that my heart still had some feelings for Yoongi, yet you pretended that you didn't know?

I'm grateful for your exsitence in my life, Jeongguk.

I sincerely mean it from the botttom of my heart.

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"It's cancer." Hoseok said with a soft voice.

"The doctors said that it's been a while!" Namjoon cried. "Yoongi's been hiding it from everyone!"

My heart had stopped beating at that moment.

It felt like time wasn't moving anymore.

I dropped to the ground, staring at Yoongi lying there, still.

Not moving an inch.

"Why did you hide this from us?" I sobbed.

"WHY DIDNT YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS?" I cried more and more.

"How could you just leave like this?!"

"This is so unfair!"

"You could have just told me about all of this!"

Jeongguk put his hand onto my shoulders, trying to comfort me.

"Na In..." Jeongguk paused. "Come on, get up. Yoongi isn't going to like seeing you like this, right?"

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His death was devasting for everyone.