Gilbert the Messiah : The Goldfish Testament

Chapter 5: A Peculiar Encounter of a Probe Kind

It was 12:30 a.m, Gilbert lied in his bed. He was exhausted from the day of hard training, and was glad to finally be able to rest. He got roughly an hour of sleep before a loud and abrupt crash through his window was made. He awoke and sprung up, like a meerkat sticking it's head out of the ground. When he arose, he saw a strange green alien-thing. It noticed that he was awake, and shot him. Gilbert blacked out.

When Gilbert awoke again, he was on a strange and cold table. He noticed screams of pain and agony, as if they had just been probed. He then noticed that he was pants-less. He began to worry. Then, a strange alien dressed as a doctor walked into the room. It put those latex gloves on with a satisfying snap. Gilbert began to squirm as if he had some chance of escape from what was about to happen. The doctor walked behind Gilbert, then a drill sound began. Gilbert squirmed more than he had ever squirmed before.

"Relax," it said, "I am just doing a routine probe for research on the human species, it will only hurt a little." Gilbert then felt a cold metal cylinder inch closer and closer to his anus, and began to rise up his rectum.

OKAY, Um... Is this what really happened? It did?! Oh Christ! I don't want to do this. I have to?! I have no choice?! It's your life, I understand, I just. You're getting really decriptive. I get it, it was tramatic, but. It's really gross, and for a sacred Bible/Okay ummmm. I'm just gonna skim over this and end it quickly.

Gilbert was being probed. It hurt his anus for he had never had any practice sticking anything up there. He was scared, but he began liking it for some reason. The probe went deeper and deeper inside him and hurt him even more than it did earlier. But then, the probing stopped.

They were a couple of minutes into the probing when the doctor noticed that Gilbert's cavities were like no other. They were somewhat God-like. The doctor then realized, he was probing the Messiah! He removed the probe and began to speak. To the boy.

"Uh hey, we didn't realize that you were the Messiah, I am very sorry for the probing, but uh. Can we just forget this happened. I'll uh, give you a free keychain and a coupon to Denny's" the doctor was pleading for Gilbert to forget this. Gilbert would never forget these horrific events. He took the keychain and coupon out of the alien's hand and told the doctor to get him out of the table.

The doctor then removed Gilbert from the probing table, and handed him his clothes. Gilbert was escorted to the captain where they explained the whole ordeal. The Captain apologized and handed Gilbert his smooth jazz mixtape as a gift of gratitude. They then shoved him into an escape pod that sent him back to Earth.

Gilbert turned on the space radio and sung along to the song that played in the escape pod.

I walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Where the city sleeps

And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone

I walk alone

I walk alone

I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, aaah-ah,

Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah

I'm walking down the line

That divides me somewhere in my mind

On the border line

Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines

Of what's fucked up and everything's alright

Check my vital signs

To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone

I walk alone

I walk alone

I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, aaah-ah

Ah-ah, ah-ah

I walk alone

I walk a...

I walk this empty street

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Where the city sleeps

And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

'Til then I walk alone...

Gilbert then climbed into bed and attempted to go back to sleep. Unfortunately with the giant hole in his window, it was somewhat difficult. He went to sleep around 5:30, and recited roughly three hours of sleep. After those three hours, Gilbert was woken abruptly.