Gilbert the Messiah : The Goldfish Testament

Chapter 4: The Many Adventures of Gilbert and Morgan

     Gilbert and Morgan went on many adventures. On these quests, their friendship truly grew them most. It was probably around six months into Gilbert's training when Morgan sent Gilbert on his first quest. The first quest Gilbert was ever given was when he and Morgan needed to get the last ingredient for the ultimate sandwich at a food competition. The two went to an alternate dimension where a vegetable called flimbo grew. When they arrived, they had to get past intergalactic security, giant spiders, and space ducks. It was quite exciting. Once they reached the flimbo tree, they collected it and traveled back to their home dimension. Once they arrived, they finished making the ultimate sandwich and won the cooking competition. The lesson, with hard work and perseverance, anything is possible.

     What about the time when Gilbert and Morgan flew to a country in poverty and fed the homeless? That happened. They jumped in a plane and flew over to a war-ridden country and helped the lower class survive it. Once they realized the horrible state the country was in, they knew what needed to be done. They needed to overthrow the evil president, a duck dressed like Hitler. The dressed up like Rambo and shot their way through the guards. Once they reached the evil president, they shot him and cooked him. An elected official then took her place to keep the country in a good and safe condition. Gilbert and Morgan both won Nobel Peace Prizes for bringing peace to the land. The lesson, with a few acts of kindness, joy can be brought to the world.

     There was also an adventure when a giant duck burst through the training hall and began eating the students. Gilbert fought it off as best as he could, but the duck was only defeated when Morgan and Gilbert teamed up. Unfortunately, Morgan's leg was broken by some flying debris during the fight. Gilbert rushed him to a hospital. At the hospital, Morgan healed quite quickly, that was until his bed rolled out of the hospital window from a loose lock on the wheels. All of Morgan's bones were broken, and Morgan was rushed to a better hospital. At this hospital, Morgan met a beautiful nurse who had three beautiful nurse friends. When Gilbert went to visit Morgan, Gilbert was given an epic and important mystical quest. To go to the pharmacy and pick up a box of monster condoms. These condoms were made by the Monster drink company, and tasted like Monster. Gilbert accepted this quest and went off. Unfortunately, Gilbert was not quick enough, and when he arrived, he found Morgan have sweet golden sex with the three nurses in one of the weirdest foursomes Gilbert had ever witnessed. It was a scarring moment for Gilbert, and he would never forget it. The lesson, knock before you enter your parent's room.

     A couple of days after the scarring moment for Gilbert, Morgan received a phone call. It was one of the nurses. She said she was pregnant. Morgan wanted her to get an abortion, but she wanted to start a family. Morgan then was sent out to kill the nurse so that Morgan would not have to face the responsibility of becoming a father. Gilbert did not want to kill the nurse, but he knew that he had to. When he arrived at the nurse's house to kill her, he found her with her head in the oven, it had appeared that she had killed herself, but with closer inspection, there was a duck who threw her into the oven. Gilbert went home and explained to Morgan the scenario. Morgan was ecstatic but still showed up to the funeral. The lesson, wait till your son comes back with the condoms, otherwise, unwanted children are born.

     There is also the classic incident of the $400 book. This book was a copy of the Oddesy by Homer. Gilbert had no idea why is was worth $400, but just knew that it was. He was handed the book in class and needed to bring it in for the next couple of weeks. When he went back into his dorm, he left the book on his desk. He then watched some porn and went to sleep. The next day, when Gilbert got woke. He looked for his book, but it was nowhere to be seen. He searched for a good twenty minutes, but the $400 book was nowhere to be seen. Gilbert wanted to cry. But when he saw Morgan in the hall the next day, Morgan said that he found it in the toilet. Someone stole it from Gilbert's dorm and vandalized it. Morgan said he would help Gilbert get it back. Gilbert thanked him as they began to do some sleuthing. They started with the security cameras. On the camera, they saw a duck break into his room and take the book. The two then hunted down the duck and cooked him and ate him. Morgan said he was not going to charge Gilbert for the book, but instead was going to make Gilbert work in the institute's coal mine for a month to pay it off. It was hard work, but Gilbert accepted it. The lesson, do not trust ducks.

     There was another time when a giant dildo burst into the hall and started raping students. Morgan and Gilbert did not approve and raped the dildo to death. But then, Morgan began raping Gilbert. Where did this come from? Gilbert trusted Morgan. But then, Gilbert woke up. It was a nightmare. Morgan was there when Gilbert began screaming in fear. Morgan comforted him and told Gilbert he would never rape the boy. The lesson, rape scares children, do not rape people.

     The two would often sing a song and hymn of friendship together.

If there's anything you need

All you have to do is say

You know you satisfy everything in me

We shouldn't waste a single day

So don't stop me falling

It's destiny calling

A power I just can't deny

It's never changing

Can't you hear me, I'm saying

I want you for the rest of my life

Together forever and never to part

Together forever we two

And don't you know

I would move heaven and earth

To be together forever with you

If they ever get you down

There's always something I can do

Because I wouldn't ever wanna see you frown

I'll always do what's best for you

There ain't no mistaking

It's true love we're making

Something to last for all time

It's never changing

Can't you hear me, I'm saying

I want you for the rest of my life

Together forever and never to part

Together forever we two

And don't you know

I would move heaven and earth

To be together forever with you

So don't stop me falling

It's destiny calling

A power I just can't deny

It's never changing

Can't you hear me, I'm saying

I want you for the rest of my life

Together forever and never to part

Together forever we two

And don't you know

I would move heaven and earth

To be together forever with you

      And finally, who could forget the times when Gilbert and Morgan played catch in the backyard, or when they went to the duck pond, and what about that time when Jesus came down and lead them to the lost ark of the covenant. The two had a special bond that would last forever. That was, until the fateful night, when everything went wrong.