The chaos and the calm

do i have to?

  "mom I've made an array of friends at gym with homeschool"
"you need to learn social skills you've had the same friends for 4 years.now get dressed and brush your teeth were leaving in 50 min and you still have to eat breakfast."
"fine"
I got out of Hayley's bed, which held the both of us since the night of caleb's passing
"hay, wake up" I caressed the side of her small fragile head. I wondered how such an innocent brain could contruct such terrible nightmares.
"5 more minutes please Annie?" She whimpered and filled the covers close to her naturally roses cheeks
"okay, 5 more minutes that's it."
I walked to the bathroom,and brushed my hair and pulled it into a messy bun. thats what I usually did these days, but today I made it a bit more presentable for school. I washed my face, and stared myself down in the mirror my hand tracing my many imperfections, soon making their way to the bags under my eyes. A result of the hours of lost sleep.i shook myself out of it and walked out into Hayley's room dealing the cold floor hit my toes and sat dow next to her watching her breathe in and out in a state of peace.it was rare she got good sleep. It didn't feel right to wake her I knew I had to.
"Cmon Hayley I know you don't wanna get up but we don't have that much time." I knew she was awake her eyes fluttering as they finally made their way to mine. I scrounged my mind for some way I could convince her to get out of bed.
"I can make you pancakes?" She didn't move.
"What about... eggs?" She perked up a bit but it wasn't enough to get her out of bed. An idea popped into my mind.
"How about you get up, and while your getting ready i make your amazing breakfast and I do you hair" I could sense the excitement flooding through her.
"Big girl curls" her eyes widened with the rare offer given to her.
I straitened and did "big girl curls" as promised. She went andgot changed and layed back down. As for me I put on light wash skinny jeans a flowey  white top, strapped sandals, first class hoodie, and of course my thumbie. I looked a mess but It didn't phase me . The numbers 6:50 blinked on the clock. I went and got hay out of bed to eat breakfast. We enjoyed pancakes and eggs. Her favorite. An anxious feeling grew in my chest. Change always scared me.I didn't want to make friends I just wanted everything to remain the same.
But that's impossible.

I walked in and immediately felt overwhelmed. I reminisced of old times with caleb and my friends. It alway calmed me down. Ocean city was one of the memories I always come back to. We used to go each year. It was like my safe haven I knew I could alway find happiness there. Before I could finish my thought I felt a cold metal locker slam into the head
"Jesus Christ! Are you ok??"
"yeah- yeah I'm fine. Thanks" I say regaining my vision to see him
"you need any help around here? You seem new"
"um actually yes we're is first period math"
"lucky for you that's my first period follow me."
I followed him. Down the chaotic halls of
School. We sat there in absolute boredom. Through the next hour we communicated only through notes going such as the following:

Btw I'm Brennan if I didn't tell you after I ya know slammed your face into a locker. On a another note, this is really boring... Where did you live before you got here?

Im Annie, short for Julianna. But I actually lived here for about 7 years and I did a homeschooling program at my gym when I was 5 up until now.

You seem a bit young to have a gym membership?

Gymnastics dummy haha

Aaaaah got it maybe if your that good I can watch a game or a practice

That would be cool and by the way it's a meet not a game

That's the first time I've seen you laugh you should do it more often

Wish I could