The chaos and the calm

Sunrise is lifes dawn

I wake up and it's still somewhat dark.the sun was about to rise, i could tell. I looked at Brennan he was sleeping. He was peacfull. I brushed the back of my hand against his cheek.it felt like calebs cheek. It was soft,gentle I missed him. God I missed him. I feel lost,  like I'm forgetting little details about him every second. At least I got one detail back. Which is what hurt the most it was like he was there. I closed my eyes and touched his cheek. Caleb was so far but so close. I was far from seeing him but in this moment I was alone, with Caleb and nobody else. For this is when I felt infinite, I could feel as far as possibly imaginable from Caleb or I could be close. But it was all my decision even if I didn't know I had a decision. The state right know I feel is were hugging in that infinite line of possibility we were the closest possible right now.
I opened my eyes. We're distant now. I looked at the sky.
"I miss you" I whispered,"and David, everyday all day"
"Caleb?"I felt like he would respond, but he didn't,"I love you... I have always loved you even after our fights and fits I always knew deep inside that I would always love you"
"Annie? You practicing your conversation with me"I jolted to the side and just said"I um I was just... Just"
"What were you doing?"he asked again but more serious.
"I was practicing a uh speech for Hayley for sibling apricuation day at gym"
"Oh can I hear it?"he asked as I simply freaked.
"I don't think so"
"C mon please!!" He begged"I'll be your best friend!!
"Fine"yikes." Dear hay I um really appreciate you for always being there for me no matter what life threw at us I couldn't be more thankful for you uh being by my side when nobody else would"I started tearing up"um anyways I love playing dolls with you even though I hate dolls."
"Are, are you ok?"
"Yeah I'm fine"
" just allergies"