Chapter 6:
I turned the keys, the door was then unlocked, I stepped in. Tear stains still on my cheeks, I quickly realized mother wasn’t home from work yet. My mother worked with wildlife, she was a conservation officer that worked with the state of our home, Donegal, Ireland. Even Though it was quite a ways away, I planned on going to the University of Limerick, just like my father did. I missed father, he left me when I was three, I never knew what happened to father, but I knew he left.
Mother always told me stories about him and he seemed nice, other than leaving me and mother. I quickly stopped thinking about him. I came into my room, tripping over the boxes, went to my restroom, I washed my face. I changed into my black sweatpants and my favorite Pink Floyd T-shirt. I had to start, revise, and complete four paragraphs today. I got my loose leaf out and started writing., “To be honest, I’m not a happy person…” I stayed honest on my paper, I thought that I was free to be me. After I finished three paragraphs, I took a break.. It was already 4:30 and mother wasn’t home. I couldn’t comprehend much with all that was going on.
Mother wasn’t home, I had homework, and Jeremy...well Jeremy’s reaction. ” ...it’s not that I don’t have a high self-esteem.” I was still writing my last paragraph. I couldn’t stop thinking about Jeremy, it was unfathomable. I wanted to tell him everything, from my abandoning father, to Rob, the abusive boyfriend. I thought that I needed to call Jeremy, but I didn’t have his number. I really wanted to talk to him at the moment. Because I wanted to talk to him, I left a note on the kitchen counter:
Mother,
I am going out to do something with a friend for a minute. I will bring dinner home as well. Don’t worry, I will be fine. I’ll be back by 10:30. As soon as I get home we can talk all about it…. love ya.
Love,
Carrie.
I grabbed my phone and walked out the front door. I didn’t know where Jeremy lived so I walked to the school, maybe he would be there or somewhere near there. It took me five minutes to run to school, and I sat on the step. I closed my eyes for a few short seconds. As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw Jeremy, he was across the street in a tree, sitting on one of the tallest, biggest, and strongest branches. I ran across the street and realized he was listening to his music, he didn’t even know I was there. I started to climb the tree, it was surprisingly very easy. The way the tree was built had branches like steps, which made it easy to climb. I finally got to the branch next to Jeremy. “What are you doing here Care-Bear?” I laughed, I couldn’t help it. I came to talk to him, and we were busy making jokes. “I came to talk to you Jeremy… oh… I mean pretty boy.”..
“Haha., you're hilarious.”
“Can you get out of this tree and talk?”
“Sure Care-Bear.” We climbed down the tree, Jeremy made it look like he always went up to that tree. We finally stepped down, “I promised my mom I would bring dinner, let’s go get pizza and talk.”
“Okay.” Jeremy seemed happy, but a little confused. “What were you doing up in that tree at the park?”
“I was uhm...ahh...uhm thinking about you, and our walk, and our conversation. It was hard to process the fact you didn’t want me.”
“I didn’t mean it that way Jeremy.”
“Well that’s what it seemed like.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“Of course not Carrie, I’m just...confused.”
“Well that’s why I came back, to make it less confusing.”
“I hope it works Carrie.”
“It will.” We started walking, It was unusually cold, and wet. I wasn’t used to wet weather in Ireland, I was used to cold, dry weather. We stopped at a Pizza Place, “Hi welcome to Pizza Castle, would you like a booth or table?”
“Booth Please.” We walked to a booth and ordered waters, “Carrie, start explaining.” I sighed, “Okay Jeremy, when I was a little girl my mother and father argued a lot. Some of my first memories were them fighting. After the fighting stopped, my father left the house when I was three. My mother and I woke up with a note that said he left during the night. No phone number, no address, no anything. We didn’t know where he was, if he was safe, we didn’t know anything. We cried in that house for about three years, I was six when we decided to move out of that house and make new memories. It took about four years to find a new house. Once we moved in, I was ten. It took two years for my mom to find a boyfriend, his name was Rob, He got drunk a lot, and he always yelled for three years. Eventually, when I was thirteen, he got so drunk he actually hit my mother. I didn’t know what to do, so I called the police. He was arrested on the spot and we were scared. After a year of bad memories in that house, we moved again. We moved to the abandoned house we are in now, and so far, no bad memories.Me and Mother promised each other we wouldn’t involve or selves with anyopne like daddy or Rob, and that’s why I have blocked you out o f my life, because I’m scared I will get hurt like mother did.” It was a lot to take in. I didn’t want to give him a timeline about me, but I had to so he would understand. He stared blankly into my eyes when the waiter came back, ‘What would you like?”
“Uhmmm, one pepperoni pizza.” She walked away, “So do you understand now Jeremy?”
He waited a while, “Carrie, I do understand, but I would never do that to you, or anyone for that matter. Just because I’m popular doesn't mean I treat others the wrong way.”
I felt bad now, I probably really hurt his feelings. This reminded me of Kaylee again. “Jeremy, I’m sorry. I know this must really hurt, It hurt me when I thought about how this conversation would go, and it hurts me that it hurts you, but I don’t think you realize how scared I am to fall for anyone. I don’t know if you’ll be my happily ever after, and I can’t sacrifice everything for a few years of beautiful memories.”
“Love is supposed to be a mystery, you’ll never know if they’re your happily ever after until that one moment, when the world goes away and you're able to sacrifice everything for a lifetime full of beautiful memories.”
Our pizza came, as soon as we got it I asked, “Ma'am, may we get this to go?”
“Sure Darling, let me get your check.”
When she left Jeremy looked at me, “When will you realize how much I love you?”
“I guess I’ll never find out if we keep on fighting like this.”
“We’re not fighting Carrie.”
“Then what is this we’re doing?”
“Discussing something that needs to be discussed.”
“Obviously.”
It was late, it was about ten ‘o’ clock. “I have to go Jeremy, you take half the pizza and I will talk to you Saturday, tomorrow about this.”
“Okay Carrie, do you know how to get home?”
lowly l“Yes Acres.”
“You’re using my last name now.”
‘“Yes I am.”
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.’
I got home, mother was in bed and she already ate. It was 10:15. I was ready for bed, I put my phone on the charger and lied in my bed. I slowly closed my eyes and went to sleep.
YOU ARE READING
What Hurts The Most
Novela Juvenil*all rights reserved* Carrie is a new student at Fischer High. She doesn't belong, doesn't quite comprehend the kids, but there's this one guy. His name was Jeremy, and he was what everyone was looking for, except for Carrie. Carrie didn't admire h...
