Can You Hear My Scream

Lyra, 2:25 PM

Lyra

2:25 PM.

Oh gosh, I'm feeling so sick. Did I seriously eat that WHOLE sandwich? Am I really that fat?

I run into the bathroom. Thank god everybody has already left. I bump into a popular girl. I think her name was, what was it again? Star? She's wearing long sleeves when it's like 82 degrees out? Pshht. Whatever, it doesn't matter.

I bend down in front of the toilet and use my finger to trigger a gag reflex again. After I'm done, I take three mints, and chew some gum, and then I begin to cry. Why am I doing this again? I do know that doing this will make my teeth ugly, right? And that by doing this, I will be all skin and bones and the worse part will be that I won't know.

I begin crying even harder when I hear a voice in my mind saying that I'm doing this for the gap in my thighs, and my perfect flat stomach. I hear a voice crying out that this was just a diet that I would continue for just another day; a habit that will pass by like a speeding car going at 120 miles per hour.

And then I remember my friend Anastasia saying, "Lyra, have you lost weight?" and the horrible feeling of guilt that comes up from my stomach and I feel like throwing up all over again, and even more so when my friend Liana saying, "Wow, Lyra! You look really good! You've been eating right or something?"

And I remembered that we would have Roast Pork tonight, which used to be my favorite when I was younger, but I can't even eat it anymore. I've already eaten enough today.