Can You Hear My Scream

Stella, 8:20 AM

 It was a week later from the party. I was currently grounded and I wasn't able to hang out after school for the next month, not to mention no allowance, and not being able to use my phone unless if it was for educational purposes once I got home.

I was currently in my Science class, working on my project that was due next week. I was going to work with some classmates, but I decided not to, since I want the teacher to know that I was the one who put in the work this time. I mentally sighed. Everytime I work on a group project everyone leaves it up to me. Not this time.

I took out my notebook and starting writing down ideas I should write on my poster. I was studying about Ecology and I was assigned to write about what a niche is and why it is beneficial to the environment, and give an example. Seemed easy to me.

The classroom door opened. I looked up to see who it was. I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Er, excuse me? I didn't finish my test and my teacher sent me here to ask you if I could finish it in your classroom. Would you be fine with that?" Cole asked. I pretended as if I didn't see him and kept on working. I couldn't help but form my lips to a smile.

"Sure. There's a free spot next to Stella, you could sit there." My teacher said, pointing to the seat next to me.

 Was that seat empty the whole time? I didn't notice. Cole walked over to me and smiled. I smiled back, and once he sat down I turned to him.

"Hey, I haven't seen you all week!" Cole whispered. I sighed.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. My parents caught me and I'm grounded for the rest of the month." I whispered back. The classroom was already noisy and my teacher wasn't paying attention, so I was good.

"Ah man, I really wanted to hang out with you!"

"I wanted to hang out with you, too, but if I do I'll get grounded for longer." I said. "Anyway, what test are you taking?" I asked.

"Oh, it's a test on the book we are reading in class, it's The Mark of Athena. I forgot to read last night, so I'm screwed." Cole said. I looked around to make sure no one was looking. I quickly took his test paper and his pencil.

"Number one. Who is Percabeth?" I read out loud. Omg this is easy. Percabeth is the ship name for Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase. I quickly wrote that down on the paper.

"You read this before?" Cole asked me.

"Well duh. I may seem popular but I'm  a total book nerd." I laughed. "Number two. Who were the camp praetors at Camp Jupiter while Jason was at Camp Half-Blood?" IT WAS REYNA AND PERCY!

"Number three. Who was the Argo II built by?" THE ONE AND ONLY LEO VALDEZ. I continued to answer all of the questions effortlessly and handed the paper back to Cole once I was done.

"Wow Stella, thanks so much! You should help me more often, my teacher is a HUGE fandom lover!" Cole chuckled.

"That means I'm going to do well in her class! Hey, could you stay for a bit even though you're done with your test?" I asked Cole. I really wanted to catch up with him because I missed him so much. Being grounded wasn't easy, especially without access to my phone after school.

"Sure, I was planning on doing that, anyway." Cole smiled. We started talking about the dumbest things, and the funniest things. Cole made me laugh the whole time. It was as if we were the only two in the room. This boy makes me so happy. Then I frowned and I started to think. Do I really deserve to have a person like this in my life? To have someone to cheer up the depressed, stupid, awful me? Cole saw me frown.

"Stella, are you alright?" I snapped out of my thoughts.

"Never been better!" I smiled, acting like a goof.

"You know, last time when we were enjoying ourselves you acted the same way. Is there something wrong?" Cole seemed to be getting worried. Yes. There is something wrong. I cut. I'm stupid. I get yelled at for nothing. I'm abused. I'm depressed. I'm tired, but not sleepy tired. I'm tired of putting up with everything, tired of being someone fake.

"Everything is fine!" I smiled. The fake smile, the one that hides my tears. It seemed as if he didn't believe me but he just moved on. Man, that was a close one. We kept on talking and laughing for the rest of the double period I had for science. Cole had to leave and get back to his homeroom. I sighed and gathered all of my books together, held them in my hands, and he hugged me goodbye. We waved each other off, and headed to our nest classes.

Man, what's wrong with my life? And it all started again. I quickly stepped into the bathroom and took out the blade from my sharpener. I took off my sweater and made a couple of deep cuts on my arm real quickly in my special locked bathroom stall. I quickly washed my arm and wiped it down, putting my sweater back on, exiting the bathroom, and running to my next class. I got lucky. I was only two minutes late.

Why do I do this to myself? Is this how life is gonna be forever?