The Outcome -minizerk AU- (sequel)

22

Josh's P.O.V.

"Just remember that whatever happens I love you." I said as we drove to the hospital as I squeezed.

"Josh you're going to be fine. Tobi and Ethan are going to meet us up afterwards to go out to eat. You okay with that?" He asked as I nodded.

"Yeah, that sounds great." I said trying to stay strong but feeling weak.

"I'm here for you Josh. I'm not leaving you. I'm always here for you." He said as I smiled and just looked out the window.

It was all so much and there was such little that I could do. I was weak but trying to be strong, just like he is. It is only so much that one can take before it all comes crumbling down.

"So I talked to JJ last night, I was thinking that we would have the wedding this month." He said as I turned to look at him shock.

"What do you mean?" I said as my heart started to pound rapidly.

"The guys said that they were willing to come for us. So that they could be at our wedding. I invited my parents and brothers too." He said as he gave me a weird look.

My body started to feel cold as the world around me felt burnt.

"Josh! Are you okay?!" Simon said as he started to drive us faster.

The world around me started to become blurry. My ears felt as if they were being clogged and my stomach felt like a burning pit. Slowly the edges of my vision started to black out and the light was soon gone and the darkness overtook me.

~~~~~~~~

"Josh? Babe?" I hear Simon say as my eyes slowly flutter open and I see we were in the hospital.

"Wh-wha-what happened?" I asked trying to clear my throat.

"It seems to be that you have a panic attack and your chemo did not help you at all." A nurse said as she started to change the tubes, "we are going to hydrate you after you finish the chemo."

I nodded my head as she walked out to grab some things.

"I'm sorry if I scared you." I said looking up at the ceiling not being able to look him in the eyes.

"I'm just happy you are okay. I'm sorry if I'm pushing everything on you too fast. I don't mean it, it's just, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He said as a tear started to roll down my cheek.

I knew the next few words were going to be the hardest things that I've ever had to say.

I slowly looked down at him and then at the tubes that had the one thing keeping me alive flowing through them.

"I-I......"

"Josh?" He said as he grabbed my hand but I pulled mine away.

"I don't think I can do this anymore Si."

"Do what Josh?"

"This, between you and I. I love you, I just, I can't be with you. We can still talk it won't be like when I left, but I think it's best if you just move on." I said as he just pushed his chair away.

"What the fuck?!?! Where the fuck did this come from?!??" He said as I looked towards him as he had his hands in his hair.

"I'm sorry Simon." I said as he just looked at me and fell to his chair, crying.

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A/N: so I know I said last chapter that I might not be uploading as often, it's just might not be as consistent as before. I'm going to work past everything to try and write for you guys. This is like the one true thing I'm passionate about and I don't want to lose that. So yeah, I guess that's it, bye!