Not the Same

Chapter twelve

Sitting in class trying to concentrate on a lecture about stingrays is hard when your mind won't let you stop thinking about a certain guy who makes your stomach do backflips.

After my date with Cameron, I spent the rest of the weekend replaying it over and over in my mind. It's now Monday morning, and I'm finding it really hard to stay focused. My mind continues to race with numerous questions.

Did Cameron tell Eric and Dan about our date?

Did he actually have a good time?

Would there be another?

"Alright class, don't forget. Your report on the marine animal of your choice is due in a week and we are going to the aquarium in two weeks. You are each allowed to bring one guest. Choose wisely," my professor says while my classmates start to pack up their things.

Dang it, class is over? I look down at my notebook to see that I wrote down hardly anything. Great, I'm going to have a lot of studying to do tonight.

Grumpily, I head over to the food court, put random food on my plate and slump down at the table where Hailie, Eric, Dan and Cameron were already sitting.

"Why so glum, kid?" Eric asks while taking a bite of his apple.

"I couldn't pay attention in class today," I tell him dejectedly.

"Why not? Something on your mind?" Dan asks curiously.

Hailie gives me a knowing look to which I can't help, but start blushing.

Stupid feelings.

"It's nothing," I respond as passively as I can.

"Riiiiiight," Eric says dramatically.

We continue to sit and catch each other up on how our days have been going when I over hear part of the conversation from the girls sitting next to us.

"I'm gonna go get more food, anyone want to come?" one girl says as she stands up from the table and looks at her friend expectantly.

"I'm gonna pass. I gotta cut down, I've been eating too much lately. Gotta stay in shape," her friend replies.

I try not to let the pang I feel in my chest be visible when she says that. I look down at my stomach and thighs in disgust. Suddenly, I'm no longer hungry and find myself pushing my plate away.

I try to be as subtle as possible, but apparently I didn't do a very good job because Cameron starts to stare at me curiously. Quickly, I lower my head, trying not to make eye contact.

After Eric finishes his food, we all head out of the food court.

"I'm going back to the room, are you coming?" Hailie asks facing me, continuing to walk backwards.

"No, I have a lot of studying to do," I tell her. "I'm going to the library."

"Make sure you don't work too hard," Hailie informs me. "I don't want you to get run down."

"Me? Never," I tell her in mock disbelief. I tend to overwhelm myself until I become so run down that I hit a breaking point. But, I've gotten better; much better.

We all say goodbye to each other. Everyone besides me starts walking in the direction of the dorms, but turns around when they hear me groan in pain.

I rub my hand over the back of my head. Once again, I find myself face down on the sidewalk next to the quad all because of Adam.

Adam, Kevin and Tyler jog up to me laughing.

"You really are a klutz, aren't you?" Adam says with a mischievous smile on his face.

"It's kind of hard not to be when my idiotic brother finds it amusing to constantly ram my head with a soccer ball," I spit back.

"What are you going to do about it?" Adam says, taking a step closer.

"I would step back if I were you," Cameron warns Adam, standing next to me protectively.

"Look who it is, boys," Adam says to Kevin and Tyler. "Cameron Owens, good to see you."

"The feelings not mutual," Cameron says, trying to keep his voice calm.

"Oh, Avery, did you check your phone?" Adam asks, his voice filled with amusement.

"Why?" I ask him skeptically.

"Mom and dad texted us. They want us to come home this weekend," Adam says, all joking aside.

Our parents don't contact us much. The only time they really talk to us while we're at school is through text message to tell us to come home. Other than that, we don't communicate.

Like ever.

I gulp nervously. Going home is never a good experience. It also means being closer to Adam. At least on campus I can sort of avoid him.

"Well, I'll see you then," I say through gritted teeth.

Adam and I glare at each other for a few more seconds and then Adam, Kevin and Tyler start to walk back onto the field.

"Are you okay?" Hailie asks me in concern. She knows how my relationship with my parents affects me.

Or lack of relationship.

"I'm fine," I tell her quickly, not wanting to talk about it.

Eric and Dan look at Hailie and she just shakes her head, letting them know that they don't need to be concerned. The three of them start walking to the dorm. I try to follow them, but Cameron stops me.

"Why is going home to see your family such a big deal?" he asks me when the others aren't close enough to hear.

"It doesn't matter," I tell him, trying to sidestep him.

"Yes, it does, Avery." Cameron eyes hold a serious look and his face is filled with multiple emotions; confusion, curiosity and concern most evident.

"Please, just let it go" I beg him desperately.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Adam jogging over to us again. What does he want now?

I try to tell myself it's because I'm sick of being hurt by Adam, both physically and emotionally, and this might be true, but I know that it's also because I want to do this. With all of this in mind, I find myself doing something that shocks all three of us.

I lean forward and start kissing Cameron Owens.