Not the Same

Chapter twenty-eight

Walking away from the parking lot where Adam stands, I try to stay calm and clear my head. It was hard to believe I had just gotten back to campus from the best break I've had in college only a few hours ago. How could things get so horrible so quickly?

I hear footsteps jogging behind me, and then Cameron is walking by my side. He doesn't say anything, but just grabs my hand encouragingly.

We continue to walk for a little while and then I realize we walked to Cameron's dorm.

Neither of us says anything as he leads me into his room.

He closes the door as I make my way into the room. Cameron stares at me, as if to say that it's okay to cry.

Feeling his support and not being able to contain it anymore, I let it all out. I let the tears pour from my eyes. All the hurt and pain I have been feeling for years now spills from my eyes.

Cameron caresses me and I cry into him and I truly feel safe.

After I feel like no more tears can possibly fall from my eyes, I slightly pull away so my head isn't in his chest anymore.

Sheepishly, I stare at the tear marks I let all over his shirt. "Sorry about your shirt. I can wash it if you'd like."

"They'll dry," he says as if it's no big deal. After a few moments of hesitation he continues speaking. "We can talk about it if you want."

I sigh, running my hands through my hair.

"I don't even know what to say."

He guides me to his bed and we both sit down on it, getting comfortable.

"I'm sorry you got dragged into that," I say honestly. "It's not fair to drag you into my family problems."

"Avery, don't apologize," Cameron responds, sincerity laced in his voice. "You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong."

I shrug. "It doesn't feel that way."

Cameron and I spent the rest of the night lying on his bead, just lying next to each other being enough.

Cameron lets me wear one of his sweatshirts to class, which feels extremely comforting. I now understand the fascination of wearing your boyfriend's sweatshirts; it's a full different level of comfort.

On our walk to class I realize that I don't really know where to live anymore. There's no way I'm moving back.

"I don't know where I'm going to live. I can't move back in with Hailie. I'm going to be homeless!!"

"You can stay with me," he responds confidently to which I give him a look. "I'm serious! I would love to have you stay with me."

"Are you sure?" I ask nervously. "I mean that's kind of a big step and I don't want to make you feel obligated."

"Seriously, it's no problem."

I'm not sure how to respond. I mean, it feels really sudden and of course I like spending time with Cameron, but am I ready for this step? Thinking it over, I answer, "How about it: I'll email housing and see if they have any spare rooms. If not, I'll move in with you."

"Deal."

"I'm still bummed that they had an open single," Cameron huffs while carrying one of my duffle bags.

During my class, I emailed the housing office to see if they had any open rooms and they did. They had a room open in a two-person suite, so I will have a roommate, but I'll take having a new roommate if it means I can move out of my current room.

"Hey, at least my new dorm is closer! Now, we don't have to walk as far." It's true; my new dorm is closer to Cameron's dorm, which will be very nice.

"Yeah, yeah," Cameron mumbles, a cute pout evident on his face.

It takes us about an hour to move all my stuff into my new room. Dan and Eric help us, making it go faster. I haven't met my new roommate yet. Apparently, her name is Jess, at least that's what the name sign on her door says. I went to knock on her door to introduce myself, but no one was there.

"Well, now that you have a single, we'll have more privacy," Cameron suggestively says, a confident smirk plastered on his face.

Not giving me the chance to respond, Cameron pulls me closer and starts to kiss me. The kiss starts to get deeper and faster, but before it can get any more intense, Eric and Dan remind us of their presence.

"MY EYES!" Eric screams, slapping his hands over his eyes so he can't see. "MY POOR VIRGIN EYES."

"Oh please," Dan rolls his eyes. "There is nothing virgin about you."

Eric just smirks confidently, moving his body in a suggestive manner. "What can I say, I like to give the people what they want."

It's been a week since I moved out of my old room. I finally met my roommate, Jess. She's really sweet. Like me, she is also a sophomore, but she's studying theatre. We get along really well and have found ourselves quickly becoming friends.

Cameron, Eric, and Dan also get along with Jess really well. She's become the newest addition to our group and hangs out with us a lot now. I wasn't expecting to find such a good friend out of this move, but I'm glad I did.

As we're all sitting in the cafeteria eating dinner, Eric walks up to us with a flyer in his hand. "Guys, we should go to this!'

He hands us the flyer. Written in a fancy font are the words "USC's Holiday Ball."

"It's next Saturday," Eric says, pointing to the date on the flyer. "We need to go!"

"I agree" Jess responds eagerly. "It would be so fun!"

Dan, Cameron, and I all give her and Eric a look, clearly not as enthused as them.

"Dances aren't really my thing," Cameron says dismissively.

"What a surprise, the brooding bad boy doesn't like school dances," Jess jokes, to which Dan snorts in response. "Hey, you're no better, Mr. 'I'm super mysterious and hard to read guy." Dan looks away, trying to remain passive and stoic, but we all see the faint blush creeping up on his face.

"I don't know, I'm kind of with Cameron on this one," I admit. "Dances are sort of overrated?"

I've never really liked dances. The idea of dressing up to try to impress my classmates and dance around to crappy music just never seemed appealing to me. In fact, my mother was always so resentful about this because she wanted to have a daughter that she could help dress up to go to the fancy dance. I have been to way too many dances where I'd cave and let me make me her Barbie doll. "Dances just hold bad memories for me."

"Well, let this dance serve as a new beginning" Jess chirps. "Let this be the dance to make you like dances!"

Jess looks so hopeful and excited. Maybe she's right. I shouldn't let my past dance experiences define my present. Sighing, I let a faint smile form on my face. 

 "Do I have to wear a puffy dress?"