Not the Same

Chapter twenty-two

Before I can even comprehend what I'm doing, I spring out of my chair and punch my brother as hard as I can in the face.

"Avery!" my mother scolds me, a look of bewilderment on her face.

"What the hell," Adam groans, clutching his now bloody nose.

"Avery, that was not appropriate behavior.  Didn't I teach you anything about being ladylike?" my mother reprimands me.

"I don't care," I spit out angrily.  "I don't care that I'm not behaving 'like a lady!'  If being a lady means being a passive, miserable girl who starves herself in order to try to gain her mother's approval, I don't want to be treated like a lady."

My family stares at me in complete surprise.  I never challenge my parents and always suppress my feelings, but not anymore.  Throughout my life, my mother has not been shy with her comments about my appearance and how she wishes she had a daughter who met her standards. 

"My entire life, I've just allowed you to push me farther and farther into such a dark place.  Overtime, I began to tell my you were right.  I mean why would a mother purposely make her daughter feel ugly and awful about herself?"

"Avery, calm down and think about what you're saying," Adam warns from beside me.

I ignore him and continue talking to my mother.  "Do you remember when I was sixteen and you told me that I needed to lose twenty pounds or you would force me to wear a frilly pink dress to the sweet sixteen party you  were throwing for me even though I told you I didn't want one?  Well, in order to make sure you wouldn't buy that dress, I didn't eat a real meal for five weeks.  Every night I went to bed hungry, wishing that I would wake up twenty pounds lighter.  I also would pile on a bunch of sweatshirts and sweatpants and run around the block a bunch of times.  That way, I would sweat more and lose more water weight.  Do you remember that one day when our neighbor Mrs. Jones dropped me off and told you she gave me a ride because I was helping her with laundry?  She was lying.  I had actually collapsed from heatstroke and lack of energy due to not eating for five days straight.  Or do you remember my high school graduation?  You told me that I looked like I was hiding a small whale under my graduation gown.  I refused to eat any graduation cake or hardly any food at all for the next two months."

"Avery, that's enough," my father commands furiously, choking back tears.

"No, dad. You're not much better than she is.  While you might not have said anything, you indirectly allowed for it to happen by never telling her she was wrong."

"Avery, I'm serious" my father warns.  "Knock it off."

"What's wrong?  Can't take the truth?  Do you feel guilty of the way you've treated me for the past nineteen years?  Are you ashamed?  Or are you just embarrassed that I'm finally calling you out on everything you've made me feel and do to myself? I refuse to let you make me miserable any longer.  I'm finally standing up for myself.  I'm done being controlled and damaged by you."

"How dare you-"

"No. How dare you."

Taking a deep breath, I turn towards my brother.

"You've done some pretty horrible things to me over the years, but this is definitely one of the worst."

I allow my face to show my all the emotions I've been feeling inside practically my entire life: disgust; anger; betrayal; hurt.

With one final look at my family, I walk out the front door and go to my car.

As I drive back to school and let today's events sink in, one question causes an internal battle in my brain.

What is going to happen between me and Hailie?

Author's note:

Love bugs! Look how fast I updated! Are you proud of me? Hahaha.

I'm still extremely sick which is really annoying, BUT I didn't want to leave you hanging with that big of a cliff hanger for too long. I couldn't do that to you!

Question for you: what would you do if you were Avery? What would you say to Hailie ?

xoxo,

LetTheGamesBegin_