What would Rammstein say... during the first LIFAD recording session.
(The Rammies are seated around a table filled with coffee cups, beer, Jager & tequila bottles. An ashtray piled high with butts sits in front of Richard. They are all deep in thought, except for Olli, who is napping.)
Richard: ...How about...'Vagina'-?
Till (Shaking head): -The only thing that rhymes with that is 'angina'.
Doom: There's a lot of words that rhyme with 'cunt'...
Till (Flipping through English language rhyming dictionary):...'Blunt'...'punt'...'stunt'...'gunt'...? What zum teufel is a 'gunt'...?
Paul: Well...think of our our 'Keine Lust' costumes...
All: Okay...
...Now think of us as women...
(Pause.)
All: EWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Doom: Thanks for a mental image I will need a lobotomy to get rid of, Paul.
Till: Ja...I mean, I don't mind a zaftig woman once in awhile, but...
Flake (Downing his 12th shot of Jager of the afternoon): *Ahem* Kettle...there's a call for you from pot...
Till: ...What is that supposed to mean, Herr Stick Insect...?
Flake: *Hic* Nothing...not a thing...it's just that Emu could have saved some money getting you a pregnant body double if you'd just shaved your chest- *ACK*!
(Till wraps a hand completely around Flake's neck.)
Paul: Come on, Flocka, give Till some credit-he has lost some weight these past few weeks.
Till: Thank you, Paul.
Paul: I mean, the last time he did a cannonball into the pool, only half the water spilled out- *ACK*!
Richard (Sighs, lights 437th cigarette of the afternoon): Can we- *hack, cough, hhhkkkkt* (Plop.) Verdammt, there goes the other lung- Anyway! Can we focus a little, Jungs?
Olli (Waking up suddenly): PUSSY!
Till (Hand still wrapped around Paul & Flake's necks): What-? What about fish-?
Doom: We've already got a song that's partly in French...
Olli: Noooo, not 'Poisson'... 'Pussy'. You know, what Americans call the, ah, 'Votze'.
Till (Releasing Paul and Flake, who pass out onto the table): Why do they call it that-? I know Americans like cats, but...
Richard: But nothing rhymes with 'pussy'...?
Flake (Coming to): *Cough* Till...you are a dick- (Till elbows Flake in the sternum) -AHHH!
(Light bulb appears over Till's head; he starts writing furiously.
...And the rest is history.)
YOU ARE READING
What would Rammstein say?
Fanfictionjust a random funny stuff where the writer imagined a lot of funny scenes played by our belovers All rights are for the owner "tillsdoppelganger"
