W at would Rammstein say if they were kidnapped by a bunch of crazy girls and chained in a basement..... say in Bristol
Fyi: Lady C #1 is Chiq, C#2 is Cassandra, and C#3 is Ceci. The other ladies are Gemmus forum members: Ariesgirl (moi), Rammstein's Sonne, Ventrue, Skeletoncrew, Nimbo, Wilderwein, Elfriniel, & Opticon.
(Scene: the basement of a large stately home, perhaps in Bristol. Eleven women in masks and PVC catsuits surround a circular, 'Mutter'-like pit where the Rammies are chained to the walls. Lady 'A'-aka Ariesgirl, AKA me-lowers a basket into the pit.)
Lady 'A': ...'It puts the lotion on its skin'...
Lady 'C#1' (Grabbing the basket): NO! No pop culture references!
(Lady 'A' takes her bottle of Freixenet and goes to sulk in the corner.)
Lady 'V': Well, that wasn't as hard as I thought it would be...thanks to Lady S's familiarity with soporific pharmaceuticals.
Lady 'R': What...?
Lady 'N': ...Roofies.
Lady 'S': Yeah well, it took about 26 of those suckers to bring Till down...
Lady 'O': Hey! They're coming to!
(The women eagerly cluster around the pit.)
Paul (Waking up, looking around): ...Again?!?
Richard: How many times must I tell you guys: never let women wearing masks and PVC catsuits get your drinks for you!
Doom: Ja, well, then what are you doing here?
Richard: Um, well...Lady 'C#2' asked me really nice...(He looks up and smiles at Lady 'C#2', who giggles and waves.)
(Till is chained in the middle of the floor much like Peter Boyle in 'Young Frankenstein'.)
Lady 'C#1': Hey! I said NO pop culture references!
(Sorry.)
Till (Like Peter You-Know-Who in 'Young You-Know Who'): RRRRAAAGHH!!!
Flake (Who is hanging upside down on the wall): Well, it's not as bad as the dressing room in the Minsk Arena...
Olli: (Looking up at the women):...You ladies look very familiar...
Lady 'E' (In posh accent): As well we should, Herr Reidel! For we representate the thousands of desperate admirers throughover the world who you have so cruelly denied your attentions from!
Paul: Nice accent, terrible grammar.
Lady 'C#3': Yeah well, she saw a lot of Hammer horror films when she was a kid...
Lady 'E': Silence! Where was I...? ...Erm...'...whoyouhavesocruellydeniedyourattentionsfrom'...Oh! Right! So, we have absconded you to our sanctum sanctorium for the puposefulness of being our personable playthings for the rest of your days! BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Till: ...She says that like it's a bad thing....
Lady 'W': Oh, but that's not all! You also get to write songs for us!
Richard: ...We can handle that.
Lady 'R': And perform for us every day!
Doom: That's do-able...
Lady 'N': -And you'll all be wearing saran wrap and whipped cream!
Olli: ...Works for me...
Lady 'A': *Hic*...And Till and Flocka have to do 'Buck Dich'- three times an hour!
Flake: ...No complaints there...
Lady 'O': Oh! But the BEST part is...we get to read you our poetry and our fanfiction-for HOURS and HOURS every day!!!
Rammies: NOOOOO!!!! YAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Richard: Have mercy!
Paul: You monsters!
Flake: Have you no decency?!?
Doom (Sobbing): Not the fanfiction, dear gott in heaven, noooo!!!
Olli: Please, I beg of you-play Tokio Hotel 24 hours a day- deny us Jagermeister for breakfast-make us wear earth tones-but not that!!!
Till: Ummm...wait a minute, wait a minute...would this include the 'Slash'...?
Lady 'S' (Cackling wickedly): Of course, Herr Lindemann...
Lady 'C#2': ...Including the one about Richard and Doom...and the chocolate factory...with the wolverines! (Wipes drool off her chin.)
Paul: Oh, I liked that one...
Lady 'V': -And the period piece with Till and Olli in drag as handmaidens to Catherine The Great and Vlad The Impaler...
Doom: Yeeeah...with the jellyfish...mmmm...
Lady 'W': And the comic strip of Paul and Flake-as Chibis...on the moon..
Flake: OH! Is that the crossover with the guys in Kraftwerk?!?
(The ladies nod.)
Richard: Swwweeet!
Olli: Well...this puts a whole new complexion on things, ladies...bring on the breakfast Jager!
(Lady 'A' lowers a basket of Jager into the pit.)
Till: RRRAAARRGHH!! Fire GOOD!
Lady 'C#1': HEY! What did I say about the pop culture references?!?
Till: ...Sorry.
YOU ARE READING
What would Rammstein say?
Fiksi Penggemarjust a random funny stuff where the writer imagined a lot of funny scenes played by our belovers All rights are for the owner "tillsdoppelganger"
