Believing in love...Again (A Zayn Malik story)

Chapter 5: This isn't a movie

ZAYN:

I felt someone shaking me awake from my sleep. My eyes shot open and I saw a guy standing in front of me with an annoyed expression on his face. I blinked a few times before my eyes adjusted to the too bright light and I remembered that I was not at home. I was in a train.

‘Sir, you are supposed to get off here.’ He said and I thanked him for waking me up. I grabbed my luggage which was just a suitcase and quickly got off the train. I walked to the exit of the station to go and get a cab but then decided against it. I wanted to walk. I know it was crazy of me to want that because I didn’t even know the place. But this way I could find out. I was to stay here for two months. I better get to know it. I pulled my bag behind me as I started to wander the streets. It was quiet, just what I expected. I had a gut feeling that being here was a good decision I made. But then, I had gut feeling that…she, I couldn’t think the name, will always love me no matter what. And we know how that turned out. God, why can’t I just get her out of my head? Why can’t I just stop thinking about her? She doesn’t want me, she doesn’t love me. She made it more than clear enough. She left me. Then why can’t I just hate her for doing that to me? Why can’t I just hate her for breaking me? Why is it that even just thinking her name deepens the hole in my chest?

I shook my head vigorously, hoping that doing so will actually shake off the depressing thoughts. No, it didn’t. I just tried to distract myself by looking at the surroundings. But it was dark and I couldn’t make much out of it. I kept on walking, my hood pulled up. I knew no one would be roaming the streets at 10 in the night and even they would be, they probably won’t recognize me. But I wasn’t taking any chance. I wasn’t in a mood to talk to a fan and I didn’t want anyone to see my in this emotionless state. Ok, that was a lie. I wasn’t ready to deal with people trying to talk to me about the…break up and I was sure that is what they would talk about, provided, if they know me.

I didn’t even know where I was going, which was crazy because for all I knew, I might get killed. But I didn’t care. Anything that could’ve happened couldn’t be worse than what has already happened. And anyways, I am a grown man. So what if I didn’t know the place? I could just get to know it, because it honestly sounded better than sitting in a cab with my thoughts. My thoughts these days were a lethal weapon that had the power of knocking me out. I am not even exaggerating right now. I know it sounds over dramatic but I mean it. My thoughts send me into different emotions and I can’t handle emotions right now. I know I keep saying this, but I need to so that I actually keep my word and not show any emotion. Just then my phone rang.

‘Hello?’ I picked up.

‘Hey!’ Four people yelled. Ah, the lads!

‘Hey boys.’ I said, monotonously.

‘You reached?’ that was Liam.

‘Yeah I did. I am looking for a place to stay right now.’ I answered. Yeah, that was a lie. But what Liam didn’t know won’t hurt him. I am supposed to look for a place to stay but what I am actually doing is roaming the streets of a city I have never been to. I wasn’t even trying to look for a place to stay.

‘Any luck?’

‘None.’ I replied.

‘Well, you will find a place. Just take care and let us know when you do find a place.’ Liam explained and I nodded before I realized that he can’t see me and replied a yes. We talked for a few minutes before the lads said that they had to go and that they will talk to me later. I said goodbye and hung up.

I continued walking for half an hour before I reached a building. Well, it looked like a building but by the looks of it, I don’t think anyone lived there. It looked as if it had come straight out of some World War II era. It was isolated, I couldn’t see any other shops or buildings nearby. Maybe that’s why people left it, because of the isolation. Well, what wouldn’t I give to have isolation? The building looked as if hadn’t had a single visitor in a long time. I decided to be generous and climbed the stairs. The stairs were dingy, as if they would collapse if I put a little too much force by my feet. I carefully climbed the flight of stairs till I reached the terrace. I wasn’t even sure why I was doing this. It was late, I should just find a place to stay for the next two months and stay there. But no, here I was, climbing the soiled stairs of an abandoned building. It was almost like gravity, like there was some kind of invisible force dragging me there and I had no control over it. I had to just follow it. I reached the terrace, stood at the doorway, and looked. And that’s when I realized that I wasn’t the only person.