Believing in love...Again (A Zayn Malik story)

Chapter 18: I can't leave you

ZAYN:

This felt right, too right, as if it was most natural thing in this world. Rashel’s arms around my waist and her head on my chest while mine went around her shoulder and my head resting on top of hers felt right. And don’t ask me what I mean by that. When Rashel’s hold tightened, I felt my heartbeat pick up and for a second, I was in shock. Oh, who am I kidding? I was paralyzed with shock for a lot more that a second. What the hell just happened? Did my heart actually speed up? Sped up as in following another rhythm than the regular dum-dum-dum…I think everyone known what speeding up means, Zayn.

Oh great! I am talking to myself.

But what am I supposed to do? This moment was way too surreal. That was because I felt my heart racing, something I hadn’t felt ever since that fateful day in cold December. Yeah, considering the burning edges of my chest, I shouldn’t think about it. But honestly, ever since that day, I haven’t felt my heart speed up in the way it was racing now. I even remember thinking that I would never be able to experience what it feels like to have your heart right in your mouth but my words had backfired in my face. Because right now, it honestly felt as if my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I was sure that Rashel could hear from where her head rested on my chest but when she didn’t react, I let it go.

‘Zayn?’ Rashel’s voice muffled by my shirt.

‘Yeah?’ I asked.

‘I love you.’ She said. For a second, my heart stopped. It actually skipped a beat. Literally. What the hell was she saying?

But then I realized the way she had said it, the way she says it to Zach, like a friend. She loved me like a friend. I don’t whether it was relief or disappointment that washed over on that realization. Relief that Rashel wasn’t in love with me or disappointment that Rashel wasn’t in love with me?

God, what am I thinking?! I have gone crazy!

Then, as if to prove to myself that I wasn’t crazy, I did the most natural thing in the world. ‘I love you too, Rashel.’ I said it back.

 The only other time I had said those words while meaning them were with…her. I have never had many girl friends, I haven’t said to any friend of mine. That was why I was surprised at how easily the words rolled off my tongue. And it was surprising as well that I meant them with all I had in me. No, not in a romantic way, but more in the best friend kinda way. I loved Rashel like a best friend, which she was. In the short span of two months she had managed to take a seat in my really scared heart and claiming a spot and not planning to leave it anytime soon. Yeah, somewhere deep inside I knew that Rashel was going to stay no matter how different we were or how many miles were between us. And honestly, that thought made me happier than I thought it would. To know that Rashel was always going to be there, well, I think I can easily say that that was the best thing ever.

‘I think we should go.’ Rashel said and I noticed the stiffness in her voice. I pulled away from her and saw that Luke was standing a few feet away from us. Seriously!? Couldn’t this guy get a hint? What the hell did Rashel see in him all those years ago?

‘I swear I am not stalking you. I was just leaving.’ He said as he moved towards his transportation. Rashel’s eyes followed him and I saw them pop out when she saw his transportation. My eyes widened a fraction too.

Luke walked confidently towards the bike and swung his legs over it. He looked back once more at Rashel and his lips were curved into an amused smile. I am guessing that it had something to do with how Rashel’s eyes were wide open and how there was little bit of drool at the edge of her mouth while her jaw touched the floor.