The Outsiders X readers Oneshots and Preferences

Please dont leave: Johnny x Reader

Warning's: Deals with depression and suicide
Published date: 10/15/16
Word count: 1,484
Extra Notes: Enjoy the story and remember to request

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It wasn't that I wanted it to end this way for me, but I had to. I cause to much pain and destruction to the boys and it just dosent seem fair for the boys to have deal with their own issues and mine, besides and it wasn't like there was anyone at home who'd care if I was gone. If I was lucky my brother would. I sighed and pulled out a piece of notebook paper and pencil and began to write.
Dear Gang,
I'm sorry for doing this to you guys.... But I have to!
I've put you guys through so much and it isn't fair for you guys to have your own issues and deal with mine, to deal with me! I'm sorry that I'm saying goodbye like this... but I do have things to say about you all...

Sodapop, oh Soda I'm sorry for leaving you! I hope you can understand why I did this... you were a friend I held so dearly. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you like you were for me...

Darry, thanks for giving me a home when I needed one, and telling my brother that I was safe when he came by after I ran out the house in tears. I'm sorry I couldn't help you like you've helped me...

Steve, thanks for getting me that job when I needed it. I really appreciated it.... I'm glad I taught you how to bake a cake, yours were always the best.... But I'm sorry that I couldn't get you somewhere that you needed like you have for me...

Ponyboy, thank you for bringing knowledge into my life and helping me appreciate the little things in life, like sunsets. I'm sorry that I couldn't make you realize something important like you have showed me....

Two-bit, thank you for bring laughter and joy back in my life! Im sorry I couldn't lift your spirits up when they were sown like you for me...

Dally, stay out of trouble for me alright? I'm sorry that I can't be there for you anymore.... I'm sorry that I failed you...

And Johnny, don't you dare think I forgot you johnnycake. The only one I didn't see as a brother. Sure I love all of the others in a brotherly but you... something about you drew me in.... I loved you in a different way, oh golly if I could explain it with words I would but I can't... besides it would take a lot of paper for that. Take care alright? And quit sleeping out in the lot, Darry keeps his door unlocked for a reason.

I'm sorry that I have failed you as a friend, I'm sorry I've failed you as family.... You were the only family I had besides my brother Jay...

Tell Jay I love him, and that I'm sorry for running away from home without telling him where I was...

Tell my parents that I'm sorry that I failed them as a child, that I couldn't be what they wanted me to be that I wasn't good enough for  them.

Love,
Y/N

P.s Soda you're not dumb so don't you dare say that you are!

I let out a sob as I signed the paper and sat there and cried. I guess I didn't hear my brother yelling from the front room that the gang was here because all of a sudden I heard a voice. "Y/N? Are you ok?" It was Steve I shook my head and continued to cry, my gears rolling down my cheeks and falling on my letter. Probably staining it... I thought

"What's this?" Soda asked as he pulled the paper from under my face. Not caring I let them read it. Soda must've been a fast reader because pretty soon I heard the rustle of paper as it was handed to someone else. I unwilling turned myself around on my chair to look at them and wiped my face off with my sleeve. Each of their faces twisted into pure horror and sadness as each of them read it.

Soda was the first to quickly pull me into his arms, tears were in his eyes and tears where already rolling down my cheeks. "Y/N, please don't... you have so much to live for! A-and and you were always there!" He was crying now along with me. Soda pulled away from me and looked at me sadly before moving out of the way for Darry's hug.  "Oh Y/N, why would you say such things? You know me and Pony would only be fighting if you weren't here." He was tearing up but he too moved away, only for me to get pulled into the next embrace. Steve.

"Y/N..." he said slowly "You know you don't have to do anything for me to still care..." he smiled sadly before a teary eyed Ponyboy pushed him away and clung onto me. "Whatta mean you didn't make me realize anything?" I shrugged still crying "What about a sunrise? I've never given them much thought till you." I smiled sadly at him and then got attacked in a hug by Two-Bit. "Nope. Not letting this one go!" He did one of those crying laughs.

Next was Dally, he didn't necessary hug me but he set his hand on my shoulder and had to look at his feet to regain himself before he looked me in the eyes. What broke me the most was the fact that he was starting to cry. Dallas Winston never cried! That's when I started to realize just how broken they would be if I was gone, especially if Dally close to crying.

"Y/N.... Why do you think I've stayed outta the cool for this long? You." I didn't say anything. I just stood there with the whole gang crying. Dally faintly smiled, So faint that you would have to know him to know it was there. I pulled him into a quick hug before pulling away and looking at Johnny. He wouldn't look back at me, he just stared at the piece of paper in his hand. Tears were streaming down his cheeks when he did look up at me.

"Y/N... I..." he stopped before tackling me to the floor in a hug. I laugh slightly at the action before sitting up carefully so Johnny's arms still stayed around me. Although it was awkward to sit there with Johnny in my lap clinging onto me with all of the gang around, it was nice.

It was nice to be held in a way where all the love from another person could be felt. It wasn't like a hug full of a brotherly love like the others.... But a love for a person where you want to sit and hold them, run your fingers through their hair to calm the down after a nightmare, to just sit and kiss them.

I was brought back to reality when Johnny had pulled me into his chest and clung onto me. He was full out crying by now as he spoke "Y-Y/N" he choked out "You can't leave us! You can't leave me! Who else would I have?" "You have the whole gang sweetheart." I smiled sadly "But I wouldn't have you!" He wailed "Guys do you uh... do you uh want us to leave?" Soda asked carefully  "Could you? For at least five minutes... I need to talk to Y/N alone..." Johnny explained quietly. The other boys got the message and left.

"Johnny..." I pulled my head up to look at him "No Y/N... I want to say something..." "Then say it..." I said softly. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine in a soft, sweet, and passionate kiss. After a moment of shock I quickly kissed him back. My arms hung loosely around his neck by the time we pulled away for air. Forehead pressed against each other's and sad smiles were next before he spoke. "Y/N... if I knew you're thoughts sooner... I-I would've told you sooner... if it would make you stay..." I smiled softly at him and nodded. "I will stay." He smiled brightly before he pulled me into another kiss. I smiled into it before I kissed him back. It was short for I was quickly interrupted by Ponyboy walking in the room and shouting "Alright five minutes are u-" but quickly cut himself off as he looked at us. He smiled brightly before speaking "So Johnnycake got you to stay!" At that sentence the rest of the gang piled into the room to look at us. "Finally!" Soda shouted jokingly to lighten the mood I smiled and we both stood up for a giant group hug. "That's right boys, I ain't leaving till it's time." I smiled

I'm so sorry that I could've published this sooner! I don't have wifi and I'm use it my Nana's right now So I saw the opportunity and I took it XD. I don't know what's coming next because dino_incorporated might feel like updating or not So be prepared that it's no longer changing between the two of us when we write. Until next time gang,

Stay gold,
-Kitty