Hidden Scars

Last Day

That night,Seungri can't sleep as he feel miss.Miss all his hyung.He was really sad.Really sad knowing that tommorow will be the last for him to be and see all of them for the last time.He slowly crawl out from the blanket then walk out toward Jiyong bedroom and he peek in.

He smile saw Youngbae fall asleep with his hand holding Jiyong tightly while Daesung sleep on Top shoulder at the sofa.He slowly walk in to put a blanket on all of them as the room temperature seems cold.

Seungri walk near Jiyong bed and look at his sleeling face.Angel.Jiyong look so perfect even he was sleeping.He slowly hold his hand,having the last touch he can do before he go.Forever.He slide up Jiyong hair that covering his forehead then kiss it gently then slowly let go of Jiyong warmness.

'I love you..Jiyong hyung.' He said in his heart.He then slowly walk out from the room and slide close the door.He cry.Cry as hard as he want.He can't never said goodbye properly.He love them.Too much.Until he willing to die for them.Seungri hold tight a Panda pendant they give as a gift to him on his birthday.

Seungri then walk away to his room and get back to his bed looking at the moon.Somehow,this is also the last light of the moon he can see.As Seungri was in deep thought,suddenly the door to his room open and Doc.Hyuna came in.

"Ri?Are you okey?Do you need anything?" She ask concern.

"No..I'm ok.Don't make effort to come here.I'm ok.You must have a lots of works."
Seungri said smiling.

"Nah..I just finish my shift and have to rest for tommorow operation." She said then take off her statescope and white jacket out and put it on the sofa.

"You want to eat something?Its on me." She said smiling.

"Cotton candy." Seungri said lifeless.

"What?" She ask again.

"I said..I want cotton candy." Seungri said again.

"Anything else?And why cotton candy?" She ask interested.

"Cotton candy always manage to make me happy since I'm small after my parents die." Seungri said then Hyuna goes out then came back with cotton candy with her.

"Nah..Take it." She said smile.

Seungri open the plastic and eat the cotton candy smiling but tears roll down on his cheeks.

"Ri...Why are you keep crying?" Hyuna said sad.

"It just..This...This will be my last cotton candy either.The last time i can enjoy it." He said looking at the white colour of the cotton candy.Both of them speak for one hour until Doc Hyuna excuse herself to have a rest before she did the operation.

She just sleep on the sofa without any blanket.Seungri feel pity for her so he take his own blanket and put it on her so she won't be freezing.He then walk to the bathroom and lock the door.He slide up his sleeves and wrap off the bandage to reveal his scar hand.There were so many cuts,can't even be counted or decide the shape.After Seungri left the apartment,everyday he goes through with doing the cuts,as punnishing himself for not answering anyone phone call,make everyone worry,some even get sick.So this is his punnishment to keep go through his day without the feeling of insecure.

He then throw away the bandage and yeah he know that will be the last time he hide his scar.After this,he don't have to anymore.He can just don't care about them anymore.He look into himself in the mirror.

Lifeless.Dead.Zombie.Hurt.Useless.Ugly.
Faggot.He feel all that at the same times,but he know this will be the last time he feel like this too.He was so deep in his thought until morning arrived and he know this is the time.He need to leave everyone.Meeting the death.