Born Wicked

XXXVII

When I step into the dark house, it's quiet. Gran is already up in bed watching television. I tiptoe up the stairs to my room. I grab my pjs and head into the bathroom. Showered and changed, I climb under my comforter. I'm emotionally drained. I can't describe the amount of chaos in my mind. Thoughts swirl and dance around, banging in my head.

I groan and bury my face into the pillow. It was good day for a total of five minutes. All in all, it proves that I can be happy and normal... just not here. No, here in Salem I'll never be anything more than Jayme-Lynn Price, the girl everyone loves to hate. The one no one wants to stand up for. The one no one wants to be friends with. Well, everyone except Ethan.

That one thought does give me some solace. Whatever I was feeling for Julian was never really clear to me. I plug my earphones into my ears and press play. I mean, I used to dream about him, when I was younger. Fantasy type dreams really. The imagination of one extremely lonely girl. Even before my parent's died, when we were really young.

I haven't thought about that in a long time. It was like having an imaginary friend.

In my dreams we played together in an imaginary park inside an enchanted forest. He'd push me on the swings and we'd play tag and climb trees. I'd climb the monkey bars and pretend I was a princess caught in a castle tower. He'd be the knight in shining armor and rescue me, fighting through imaginary armies and evil Sorcerers and dragons with his cardboard sword.

My first kiss I imagined was with Julian. We were seven. He'd just tagged me and I tripped over a tree root, upraised from the soft earth of the imaginary forest. I fell and when he helped me up, he'd kissed me. A soft, chaste peck on the lips.

My real first kiss was two weeks ago with Ethan, but I'd been kissing Julian for years in my dreams. What can I say? He's the richest, most popular, most beautiful boy in school. The whole thing is a total cliché, but that was all I'd ever wanted. To have the cliché. The norm. To blend in. To be like the other girls.

When my parents died, every night Julian would meet me in my dreams. He'd hold my hand while I talked or just hug me while I sobbed my heart out.

We were fourteen when he'd whispered to me, "I love you, Jayme-Lynn" one night. I remember just wanting someone else to say those three words to me. The only person left in the world now who loves me is Gran.

Every night on my birthday, I dream of our special forest. The park is no longer there, but the clearing is and when we meet in the moonlight, Julian always has a cupcake waiting for me. Just one cupcake. With one candle. Every year for four birthdays, he's the only one that says "Happy Birthday, Jayme-Lynn".

Most people don't even know when my birthday is and Gran knows better than to acknowledge it in any way. It's always been too painful.

In my dreams, Julian was my first and only friend. He was my best friend. He was my first kiss. My first dance. My first love.

That has to account for something right? It's like he knew and took it and manipulated it. That's how it feels. Because on what planet would Julian Cross want me? In what world would he kiss me?

Of course I was confused, I tell myself. I wouldn't be the first person to mix fantasy with reality, of that I'm sure of.

Ethan is real.

The thought warms something deep inside and touches a special spot in my heart. He's real and he's honest and he's here. Not a fantasy. Not a dream.

A real life boy who cares for me. Kisses me. Takes me to movies and out to eat and helped me learn how to defend myself. Ethan Call was sent here to save me, I have no doubt.